You’ve heard before that love is blind. But did you ever consider what it actually means, and what kind of long-term impact it could have on your romantic relationships?
Love is Blind
The saying love is blind simply means that when we get struck by the intense excitement or pleasure of connecting with someone new, we stop seeing things that we would normally see. This can range from small nuances to major red flags that would be warning you to get out fast, if only you could see them.
Love can make you feel like you’re on top of the world, or it can make you feel like you’re under the weight of it. The blindness of love can lead us to utter bliss or utter self-destruction, and we sometimes hardly notice the difference.
The Evolution of Love Relationships
In these initial stages of intense love relationships, it’s hard to find fault with your partners. Everything they do is right, they have no flaws and if they do, they’re adorable and sweet and make them special and unique. We often give away our boundaries in these circumstances, not holding our partners to the expectations we may have developed toward the end of our last relationship. We turn our cheeks to mistakes, we loosen up the rules, and we go out of our way to make them happy.
There’s nothing wrong with this stage of love, of course. If you’re enjoying it, it can be one of the biggest thrills of being human. But what happens to love relationships when they can no longer sustain the constant sunshine and rainbows of blind love, and real life starts to open your eyes?
The Inevitable Shift
Love is blind, but that doesn’t last forever. Eventually, you start to notice the annoying traits about your partner. This doesn’t mean the love is gone; it just means you’re starting to see each other for the flawed humans you really are. The honeymoon phase is over, and something more authentic has come to pass.
But it is in this stage that many relationships fall, and fall hard, especially from the blissful state of blindness. The higher you go, the harder you fall, and there’s no exception when it comes to romance.
Disciplining Love
Logic inevitably has to intervene, allowing in some doubt. You might even start to get worried about how to support your partner in times of stress and wonder if they would do the same for you. Resentment starts to build and you either repress it, behaving passive-aggressively, or you act out and become full-on aggressive.
So how do you prevent this from destroying your relationship? How do you keep the magic and maintain the reality at the same time? You can work with a relationship coach who can help you navigate these rough waters. And you can implement some new principles within your relationship itself.
5 Disciplines of Love
Life coach and motivational speaker Tony Robbins says balance can be achieved in love relationships by following five disciplines of love. They are:
Unconditional Love and Compassion: Don’t make the relationship all about you and your needs. Feel into your partner’s experience through empathy and heartfelt understanding. Love life coaching may be able to help you get started if you struggle here.
Absolute Courage and Vulnerability: Don’t build walls around yourself for protection. Be present for your partner in difficult situations and stay connected when you feel separation coming.
Knowing the Truth: Relationships come with arguments; they are inevitable. Avoiding blame is what separates the long-term couples from the ones that die out. Reframe your arguments so you’re owning your feelings and not casting blame.
Telling Yourself the Truth: Be authentic with yourself. What do you want? Who are you? Can you be yourself? Enter into the world of self-help if you need some guidance here.
Giving Freedom: Don’t bring along past baggage to weigh down your partner. Learn from painful experiences and move on without holding resentment over your partner’s head.
If you’re hoping to make your love relationships last and not get pummeled by the wave of logic, slow down a bit and try these steps with your partner, perhaps even within the supportive environment of love life coaching sessions.
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You are r8 love is blind