1.

The wall clock rang and said it was now 11 o'clock at night. Arranging food on the dining table, I am sitting on the chair with both legs on my knees. Bhunakhichuri, fried eggplant, fried hilsa, beef and payesh.

He is scheduled to return this evening. It has been raining all day, and the weather is very bad. Without any reason, the black cloud of sadness in this weather seems to fill Manpara with the sky. I was also full of depression. No special reason, he was on night duty yesterday. According to that calculation, he was supposed to return home this morning. But he could not return to the hospital today as there were not enough doctors. He said at noon that he would return before evening. I thought, if he comes back before Maghrib, then today we will perform Maghrib prayers together in Jamaat. I cooked her favorite food thinking what she ate all day or not. Khichuri is her favorite food in the rainy season.

While sitting with food, his eyes came to rest. I look at the clock and see eleven ..

The mood is bad. I wanted to leave everything like this and fall asleep. The anger of the afternoon resurfaced.

I called him in the afternoon but he did not receive the first two times. I threw the phone on the bed and stared at the window grill for a long time. After a while the phone rang .. a different familiar ringtone. I understood that he had called. I was very proud, I didn't answer the phone. The call came 3 times in a row and was cut off.

- Don't listen,

Immediately the reply came,

- Don't listen.

- I want to see you at the moment. I don't know why, I feel very restless. It seems that if you come forward now, keep your eyes on me, I will cry. Well, then will you hug me very much?

Another 10 minutes have passed since the message was sent, no reply. I am sure he is busy and I knew he would not reply later. That's exactly what happened.

Bukhari has joined Rangamati Sadar Hospital as a medical officer. We have been here for more than a month. I could have taken up residence in the city if I wanted to. So I chose a small two-room flat near the hillside a little way from the city.

If you keep your eyes on the window, you can see the palms of the distant mountains. From time to time, you can see each and every form of the hilltop. Pain is trying to give my name at this moment. Uh-huh, not just pain, pain wrapping anger.

When it rains, the mountains understand and call all the greens of the world to themselves. The green heart becomes restless. Where do the mountains get so much green? I understand green, do you love them very much ?! Clouds come with one. Clouds come together with green and mountains. Seen from a distance, it seems that the mountain is surrounded by fog. Where do they come from? Where is their home? I do not know, no one knows.

The appearance of the mountains, the drizzle of rain and the frosty wind makes the mind bored. Or like a tidal wave. To get him in front of the mind in a state of restlessness, to tell the secrets of the heart silently.

My feeling was just a tie a little earlier. That's why I called him. He may not have understood the depth of my call. So far.

He couldn't give me a whole day in this one month. He wanted me to lose him in the tight embrace of the mountain. Clouds, rain and green breeze. My wish is still elusive.

He tied the knot with me last week too. He never came to have lunch outside. I thought that after cooking, the two of us would go to the mountains in solitude. I would be merry, happy, in love. Lunch is far away, he couldn't do dinner with me properly. Gone again. I was very proud that day. But who will explain all that to him?

Even then, I went to cook to see Matbo with a happy look in his eyes. But he has not found it yet. I decided in my mind, I will not open the door when I come back today.

It feels good, but stay out today.

2.

I got up from the dining table and went to bed for a long time. But I couldn't sleep at all. Suddenly I heard the sound of knocking on the door. I understood that the wood biscuit had arrived. Oops! Punishment is no more. I forgot he has another extra key.

I quickly closed my eyes and felt a deep sleep. The bedroom door was open. However, I realized with the soft sound of pressing his feet that he was standing near the bed. I get peace of mind thinking, “Aha! Now he will understand that I fell asleep without eating and then he will sleep with an uneasiness, a guilt. ”

After a while I heard the sound of his breathing on my face. He may be trying to understand whether I am awake or asleep.

I missed the heartbeat for a while. Immediately he went to freshen up with clothes. I thought, ah! Survived.

But as soon as he came out of the washroom, he turned on the lights. Then, without saying anything, he took the panjakola and put it in the chair.

What's the matter Wood biscuits understand how I am awake?

He took the food plate by himself and put it in front of me. I turned my face and sat down. I wanted to fight a lot. But I remained silent without speaking. He started eating. I asked him in my mind, as if he would put me in his mouth and feed me. So I sat down without eating. But I did not see any change in him. He is eating like him. He finished eating and got up. I am still sitting still. I want to throw all the things in front of me. I auctioned myself. I was going to get up when Bukhari came again.

I put the rice in front of my face. I kept my head down.

When he got home, he said,

- Thank you, you know all my work, my responsibilities. I know you are in a lot of trouble, I can not keep your small wishes. I understand everything. But if you sit with a basket of upset like that, I will be even more broken. I can't concentrate on work, I will neglect my responsibilities. You definitely don't want that, do you?

I really have nothing more to say after his words. I also love and respect his profession. I know, his responsibility is a little more than everyone else. If he is the slightest and negligent at work, then where will countless helpless people go? Return to a loved one?

Instantly the mood flew away like camphor. I smiled and took the food from his hand.

I said,

- A whole biscuit ... !!

He smiled softly and wiped my eyes.

As soon as he finished eating, he would not let me get up, took me in his arms again and took me to the balcony and sat me down.

I planted some hobby trees on the balcony and also arranged for lighting. There is also a small floor bed next to the wall. I like to spend time with him there. Although he can't do much for busyness. I want to see the blue light at night and lose in another world. Is very.so this arrangement.

3.

Weather is quite cold for rain all day today. And sometimes the frosty wind is blowing. Then one side of winter is quite understandable. Bukhari brought a sheet and two mugs of coffee. He makes very good coffee. As soon as he sat down, I saw two mugs and said,

- You really are biscuits .. !!

He didn't understand the meaning of my words and ate vyabachaka. I laughed and got up and brought another big mug and poured two mugs of coffee into one.

This time a smile appeared on his face too. He pulled me close and wrapped me in a sheet.

Both of them are silent, no one is talking. Silence seems unbearable to me. But now it doesn't feel bad. Deeply I feel its existence. It seems that if life is cut off like this, then let's not. What a loss!

The coffee was over, he came a little closer to me and sat down. I also went a little further and put my head on his shoulder.

Breaking the silence, he called out,

- Thank you ...!

- Hmm .. I answered without raising my face.

--You thought I didn't see your last text. Isn't it?

- Yes.

- I saw it, but then I did not reply to the e-mail. Oh ho, I forgot, there's one thing for you. Wait, bring it.

Bukhari was about to get up after finishing his speech. I pulled out his t-shirt.

- Uh, stay now. I'll see you later.

After a while, both of them were silent for a while.

- Nowadays you are different in the message and when you come in front you are different ?! Why listen?

- You mean? My simple question.

- It means, if you say in a message, if you get in front, you will hug. Now why so far?

I lower my eyes with a crimson face. A soft smile like a hyacinth flower of autumn morning floats on his lips. He is responsible for turning his eyes away from the smile. But mischief plays in his eyes. I can't stand it.

He says again,

- In your eyes I can see the deep sea, there is a huge wave of passion. I don't know how to swim.

I hid my face in his chest getting more embarrassed.

He smiled loudly this time. I can understand the language of silence more with that smile. But I keep thinking in my mind, ishshh ... I see this wooden biscuit has become bread today. If I get a little love, it will melt and become monotonous.

I get very om om in his anxious embrace. I don't remember when I fell asleep.

3.

As soon as I hear the sweet sound of Fajr Azan from a distant mosque, I fall asleep. I see it with my eyes. He is sleeping leaning against the wall. , I lost my appetite for thoughts! I am looking at him secretly and forgetting everything. I got up, performed ablution and called him.

Praying together, he recited the Qur'an and I listened intently.

Then the daily busyness started again. Today I leave a note in his lunch box. After reading the note, I get a smile thinking what will be the expression on his face.

I wrote in the note,

"Listen, I will not fill you with love. I will fill you with sweet love, very hot roasted dried chillies, a bunch of pickled onions, a few spoons of salt, and black pepper powder. Then I will mix it with my pride, blame and let it eat ...

Then when your heartburn starts after eating that bitter love, your chest will burn, your throat will burn, but you can't say anything, you can't even show the burning ... then I will give antacids ..

This antacid but not a suspension of magnesium hydroxide and aluminum hydroxide ... it will be an antacid tablet made with some pieces of my love ... !! Oh yes, the tablet will be coated with a caress. There is nothing to worry about ... If not, then my extra love with extra glucose will remain ...! From today, I will pour this affection into everything. I will not be angry at all, Promise. I will love this wooden biscuit like this. ”

Last night I realized my mistake. Before I loved him, I loved his profession. But I forgot this word.

I can't be so busy. I have to be very slow, steady, calm. He is not running away from me anymore. He is exclusively mine, my own. It is my duty to take him by the hand and lead him forward.

I can't be the cause of his weakness. I have to be his biggest support and morale. I will be the biggest inspiration for his work, in fulfilling his responsibilities.