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Love does take many forms. A person may not be able to choose whom to fall in love with. But how he treats love, each person has his way. There are those who with great courage say it, then they are happy. Some say it, but he is one-sided. There are also those who choose to keep their love in their heart. It doesn't mean that he's unhappy. But just keeping her love in her heart and pretending to be her best friend, made her happy enough.
If you have reached that stage, everything is indeed an option. But after all, keeping feelings in the heart is not always easy. Whatever you feel you can only keep it alone. Sad, sick, happy, you can't show it. For those of you who choose to harbor feelings, these are the things you actually feel but can never show the world ...
He's not a distant person. Nor is it someone you can only see on the screen. Its existence is so close to you. In front of him, you can transform into a warm and cheerful friend. But that's all you can do.
In front of him you can only look at, and at the same time hide what you really feel
The question "How are you?" what you say, is not just lip service. Truly what you want is to be a part of his day
Asking how he is doing may have become your routine. Maybe that's the first thing you think about when you wake up. But you took the wrong step. Because it has become a routine, he considers you just a small talk like a friend. Even though in your heart, you are clearly not just lip service. What you really want is to hear every detail of his day without exception. For you, he is someone who always makes you worry, anxious, happy, doubtful, longing, everything mixed together.
She never knew that even if you were never more than friends, she could always make your days happier
Maybe your days are really boring. You do the same thing every day. And again, things are not going well. Sometimes there are things that piss you off that it almost feels like exploding. Starting the day when you open your eyes in the morning can be hard sometimes. But just saying his name, and remembering that today you will meet him, and maybe have a little chat about everything, gets your spirits back. Just looking at it is enough to make you smile happily. He doesn't realize that he often secretly breaks your heart. But, you can still survive for someone you care about
Looking at him in silence does not always make you excited and happy. There are times when you have to reduce the wound when you see him walking alone with other people. I want you to say that it is your hand that he should be holding. That you should be by her side. But all you can do is bite your lip and endure the pain that hasn't happened once or twice. No problem. After all, until now you are still strong to hold it. Often you can only show a fake smile, when you hear stories about the girls around him
Sometimes being a friend and someone who loves him deeply is not easy. There were times when he talked about the girls around him. Not infrequently he also poured his heart out about the girl he likes. At that time, you just smiled, and encouraged him to pursue love. Even though your heart is already bleeding, you can't stop asking yourself: can't you see me? Right here in front of you? Always by your side? Even if you feel like the person who understands him the most. He never felt the same
When he jokes, you will be the one who laughs the loudest. When he has success, you are also the happiest person. Not only that, maybe you are also the one who gets hurt the most when you see him sitting in silence, contemplating all the bad luck that went wrong. Perhaps, you understand him better than himself. Memorizing his habits when he is heartbroken, or when he is interested in something, you have memorized it. How come? You never miss everything about him. But in fact, he doesn't even know that you are the one who understands him the most. You hope your heart is like a book. That way, he will easily read everything about you
Your feelings for him are so ambiguous. There are times when you worry that he knows how you feel, and because of that he changes. But there are times when you want him to be able to understand your feelings. You know he likes to read. You always wish that if human feelings were as simple as a book, surely he would easily read your feelings. Maybe after that, she can feel the same way, and you two will be happy. But again, that's just a supposition. Sometimes your feelings are unbearable, but being honest is definitely not something you can do
Holding the taste for so long sometimes makes you so tight. You read various love stories, which convince you that it is okay to confess first even if you are a girl. After all, the world has become so casual. Women expressing love first is not always considered cheap, because they only want certainty. Often you want to believe it all. You always imagine how easy it would be if you were given a little courage to meet him, and talk to him face to face. But the more you think about it, the more reluctant you will be. However you can't confess first. For you, it's still not right for girls to confess first. Even if your real reason is, that you are afraid of being rejected and can no longer be around him even if you are just friends. There are times when you feel so hopeless. Should this feeling continue, even if there is not the slightest hope?
The wound was real and it hurt. There are times when you feel that despair when you don't see any hope that he will know how you feel. It's been a long time, so much attention you've been giving quietly, but he's still busy with his own world. You also start to wonder, should this feeling be continued? Sometimes you are determined to forget. You are determined to carry on with your life that has long stopped in him. That determination is so solid, until you finally meet him, and fall in love again. Now you realize that, actually in falling in love, you have no choice. Loving him in silence did hurt a little. But that's okay because even that makes you happy enough
Loving someone sometimes hurts. Because everything about him is so you think. Especially if the person you love never knows how you feel. So that you can only keep your happiness and sorrow alone. People say letting yourself get hurt is masochistic. But what if, loving him in silence is enough to make you happy? Looking at him silently, and making sure he was all right, was enough of solace. It is enough just to know that you really love him. Now, it is better to pray that someday there will be a more beautiful ending for both of you
You can choose who to marry, but you can never choose who you fall in love with. For now you know enough that you love him, and it's okay even if he never realizes it all. We never know what the future holds. While your destiny is still a secret, you keep praying to Him that one day, the end will be sweeter than this. Somehow later, but you believe God always has a plan. Loving secretly is never easy. But it's okay, if that's enough to make you happy. Even though it sometimes hurts, you can still endure. Rest assured that one day there will be an answer.