Letting go (story)

The darkness wraps around me. 
Each day is colder. 
Each day is a week without his warmth. 
Without his comments. Without his love. 
I close my eyes and try to remember the last time I saw him. 


I walk pass the park we used to have picnics. 
I walk past the ice cream parlor that we used to go to. 
I walk past the cemetery where he was buried. 
I continue to walk for a bit. 
I spot a flower stand on the corner of the street. 
The flowers look beautiful. 
I buy some so I can put them on his grave.
 

I lay the flowers down on his grave. 
I stand there for a moment. 
I look down at the flower and think about all the times we spent together. 
I think about how we met. 
I think about how he would tease me and pick on me all the time. 
I think about all the times we stayed up until two in the morning talking. 
I think about how we fought and yelled. 
I think about all the fun we had. 
I think about how we always understood each other. 
I think about how I have to go on living without him. 
I remember all of these memories and all of these moments and all of these years that we shared together.


I just keep thinking about how short life really is.
I place the flowers down on his grave.
I try to smile. 
It's hard to smile sometimes. 
I realized that I am no longer young. Time really flies. 
I realized I'm tired.
I'm sick of being tired. And I'm sick of being sick.


I force myself to smile because, even though he's gone, he still keeps me going. I know he's with me, and I know that he'll always be with me.
I stand back up and wipe away the tears. 
I take one last look at his grave.

I make a quick stop at the ice cream parlor to buy some ice cream.
I know he'll love that. It'll make him happy.

I drive home and I think about how I'm now a third of the way through my life. 
I think about all the things that I want to do, all the things I should do, and all the things that I need to do. 
I think about all the people I want to see, and all the people I don't want to see. I think about the people I love, and the people who don't deserve my love.

It's now 3:00 AM and I'm sitting in my living room, watching a movie. 
It's a movie that always gets me into a good mood.
It reminds me of something that happened a long time ago.
A time when I still had innocence and optimism.
It reminds me of when I was confident in myself and in my feelings.
I needed to go back so I could let go.