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Why do we get mad at kids? What makes us treat them badly?
I truly believe that kids are reflections of us. They exactly follow what we do, how we behave, and what we say. They indeed learn a few things from outside but that's nothing compared to what they absorb from us.
I have a simple tip that I learned from a parenting podcast. The educator is saying, " when your kid behaves differently or shows negative emotions; look at yourself and see if something is going on within you. Because most of the time we knowingly or unknowingly reflect the emotions and they just follow them."
I find it truly so many times that I start to re-evaluate myself automatically whenever I feel like my child doing having a hard day. And guess what? I'm the one who is having a hard day.
This is exactly what happens when we demand too much from our children. Good grades, manners in public spaces, healthy eating, and the list go on. I would suggest anyone who is struggling to point out what you are doing wrong is, check if you have any shortcomings and if you are forcing your child to achieve more. Because if they don't you will feel miserable. To get through our misery we use our children as a weapon to rise and shine.
I'm saying this because I was the one who was not sure about this concept. There is no shame to approve that I have flaws and out of my frustration I do sometimes mistreat my child too. The realization I'm talking about helped me a lot to understand this better.
Before I point out my finger at my child, I try to re-evaluate myself.
Forcing our insecurities on our kids is a circle that I want to break. My son doesn't have to be perfect, he can show emotions, and he can be a 'child' for a while.