Life is a boomerang.
What we do comes back to us.
Maybe not in the same form, maybe not from the same one. But it comes back.
All I know is I'm floating.
Maybe I'm creating some moments.
Some meaning and values.
Or maybe not.
I'm just floating in time.
It's not clear to me where I'm going. I know what path should I follow but not follow the path. It's strange how life is taking me away. I'm floating and can't see the end of it.
So should I stop there? But what can I hold? Ah, I need to make something strong to hold. But what? My belief, my money, my family, my dream? What?
I don't know!
It's strange!
People say when you are 30 you should know what is what, all the answers to 'WH' question.
Do I know the answers?
NO.
I'm still floating and everything seems grey to me.
But it's good that at least I'm not drowning, right?
People say you got a beautiful family, you got money, a home to your name. What else do you want from life?
Well, I want something else. Or maybe what I owned, I never wanted.
Our idea of ideal life is different. Yes, I love what I have and I feel blessed for that. But then what? Can't I ask for more? Yes, I can. But the judgment comes when I can't answer what I really want. They say you are crazy. I say, I have a chaotic mind and that driving me crazy.
I did find many ways to make a barrier, stop my chaotic mind from wandering around.
But then I feel more chaotic.
It's like imprisoning myself.
The feeling of getting stuck in my own mind is worse than anything.
And then I take a color pen, color everything in my mind so that it doesn't feel like grey anymore. My mind is floating in grey. The colors are fading away, I need more pens, dear.
I wrote something that I shouldn't maybe. Now you can read my mind!
It doesn't matter that when you reached on that particular age, the development ended. But still our mind works to Cope up with the situation. As long as you doesn't hurt anyone, keep going on what you want.