Good Morning to all!
Today is a day to be thankful for the wounderful gifts life gives us, although for me it is also a day of sadness and pain. You see, my Dad past away 22 months ago, today, and still hurts like hell. But we always try to remember him cheerfully like he was in life, and keep his spirit alive through the memories. I'll talk about him soon, but not today...
I'd like to thank first and foremost to this wounderful communitie just for existing; you have provided me with a hope I barely had before in regards of an achievment in this world of words and cripto. And eventhough before this I was on Hive, this is a 100% better, for sure! I'd also like to thank my sponsors who kindly have gave me a vow of trust very much appreciated.
For my first post of september, I'd like to share a story I posted 3 months ago in Hive.Blog, and it is a true story. It's about the first time a truly fell in love and how devastating that was, and sort of played a big part in becoming who I am today. I'll share the link at the end of the post for you to check the original post which is both in English and Spanish, but here, I'll share it only in English.
FORGIVE BUT NOT FORGET
It was the year 2001, right? We where together in a National group of musicians that traveled araund the country and sometimes out of it. You, handsome, talented and popular-everybody wanted to be like you. Me, also talented but shy, not ugly but not conventionaly beautiful. You started to talk to me, and I tried so hard not to fall for you, because I knew that you had a bad boy reputation, and also because I didn't wanted to believe that you where in anyway interested in me. However, you succeded and I yielded to your charms: It was my doom.
In the blink of an eye we went from just HI to spending 5, 6, 7 hours on the phone; you even came to my hometown and out of nowhere you kissed me. I was flying through the sky and I was also confused, but I didn't care, I was happy. But something changed; the next time we saw eachother, you didn't speak to me, and everytime I tried to find out why, you just shoot me down. A few months later I found out that you had a girlfriend; tall, blonde and so beautiful! You can't even imagine how heartbroken I was, how bretayed I felt by that discovery, but I made up my mind and took you out of my life, even though I had to see you every day.
Then, a friend of yours became very close with me, he listened at every thing I had to say, and he was very very nice to me. He didn't care if I still liked you, he enjoyed spend time with me. But of course, you didn't liked that, right? You couldn't stand the fact that someone stepped into your territory. So you did the obvious: you drove him away, and sadly, I let you do it, because I still had feelings for you, and for me that was a sign that you cared about me and that you liked me as much as I liked you. And then, the disappointment again, we stopped seeing each other for a few months and surprise surprise, shoot out again. So I took a stand, I said: "Im tired of you thinking I'm your life ensurance or something, I have worth and I don't deserve to be treated like this, so, from this moment on, I'm free of you".
Curiously, that encouraged you to chase me with more strenght than before, and once again I was to weak to reject you. In front of a Monument in Washington DC, you said: "You are all that I need, you understand me like nobody does. With you I feel free to be who I realy am, to chase my dreams, to be better. Will you marry me?" I said no; It was to good to be true, to much had happened for me to fall for that, and you took it pretty well, or so I thought. You stopped talking to me, but this time I didn't go after you. And so, the months past, a year ended, and you and I weren't speaking anymore.
Suddenly, a get a call, our group was summoned to go to Germany-that meant that I would have to see you again. It was like nothing ever happened, and you started to behave like a friend, nothing more. I was sorprised but in a good way, I liked this new you, and for the first time I thought that you and I had a chance to have a normal relationship as friends. That lasted about two weeks.
An acquaintance, who knew what had happened between us came to me, and said that you where looking for me, that you had something important to say. I foolishly came to your call. When we where in front of you and your friend, she said: "I brought her to you, go!" And you said "Why did you bring her? I have nothing to say to her" And she replied "Come on, say it, that you love her, that you want to marry her" to which you answered "Marry her? Look at her, shes not even worth the trouble" everybody started to point at me with big smiles upon their faces.I died right there; I don´t remember what I said to you, I do remember though that I had to be sedated because I couldn't stop crying. My whole world fell apart, I felt empty and so alone. You can't even begin to imagine how painfull that was to me. Of course, after that you did what ever you could to make things better; you chased me everywhere, wrote poems, not yours of course, and dedicate me a song, that till this day, everytime I hear it, I remember you. But nothing was the same anymore. It was very clear to me that you and I where not meant to be, because I couldn't be with someone who loves me one day and kills me the other.
For a long time I believed that it was my fault, that I in fact wasn't worth it, that I wasn't enough for you. You made me distrustful towards everybody, and especially towards myself. Now I see that the problem wasn't within me but within you.It's been years since the last time we saw each other, and since before that, I had already forgiven you for all the pain you caused me. I did it for me, for my sanity, for my peace. But that doesn't mean that I forgot all the things you did to me, I still remember them vividly, and because of you, I always keep in mind:
Forgive but not Forget.
See you all later folks!
@rebeysa85 💕💕
Just like what you have said, forgive but not forget. That is what I believe in right now. If someone disrespected me, I can forgive them but I will never forget what they did to me.