@re-joyce 18 December 2024 more from that month

Grief is especially difficult for those with a history of self-hatred. Self-hatred doesn't prepare us for loss—it blinds us to the care we need in its aftermath. And when the person you most need kindness from is you, grief can feel unbearable. I know this because I’ve lived it. For years, I hated myself—how I looked, how I sounded, how I existed. Grief asked me to tend to my wounds, but I didn’t know how. How do you care for yourself when you’ve been your own worst enemy? Grief confronts us with the care of Self. When we lose something or someone we love, we’re tasked with tending to our feelings. But if we don’t know how to soothe ourselves, grief’s overwhelming emotions—anger, frustration, fear—can turn inward. Instead of processing our anger, we blame ourselves. We replay every “what if” and “if only,” convincing ourselves that we’re at fault for our pain. This self-blame isn’t the truth— it’s grief searching for meaning where there may be none. Grief often creates dissociation. When the pain feels unbearable, our mind and body may detach—leaving us numb or “outside ourselves.” This response isn’t a choice; it’s survival. But staying disconnected keeps us from healing. A hard truth: Avoiding our feelings only delays our return to wholeness. Yes, facing them is scary. But true healing happens when we feel safe again in our own skin. Grieving is healing. Healing is a return to wholeness. Compassion—patience, self-encouragement—is our guide through grief’s exhausting landscape. There are needs only we can meet. Even asking for help starts with us. ⭐And while no one can force healing, choosing to feel is choosing to heal. What’s one small act of kindness you can give yourself today? Drop a ❤️ below if this resonates. Let’s heal together.