I gave up my dream job

When we were little kids we all do have dream jobs. I remembered my grade 1 school teacher asked me what I want to be when I grow up. My answer back then was still really fresh in my mind til now. But as I grew older, things changed.

During my college days, one of my closest friends worked as a contact center agent in one of the BPO company in our place. I remembered listening to her in awe as she speaks English extraordinarily. I used to be shy and stutter a lot when using English as spoken language which I still do until now though. Looking at her and listening to how she utter words in English inspires me to be a Contact center agent one day.

I challenged myself to be one of the best English speaker of all time and so I started reading words out loud (as what my friend advised me to do) to exercise my tongue. I read novels and all kinds of books, watched YouTube videos and started to try my luck applying in as many BPO company in our place and in the nearest cities as well. I started applying when I was still in my third year in college and it was truly a nerve- wracking experience. Going through the hiring process feels like forever. After hearing all the comments I received from the Recruitment team during interviews I have all the reasons to gave up from that dream job but I'm still hopeful that one day, I will surely land a BPO job. I never gave up on my dream and I don't have any plan of stopping.

Although I worked right after I graduated from college, I'm still into fulfilling my goal. Ten years have passed and I'm still hopeful to land in my dream job until this pandemic came. A lot of people were affected and lost their jobs, companies were closed and worst turned to bankruptcy and people were left with no choice but to stay at home and wait til the pandemic will be over. Since people were forced to stay at home, companies started to offer a work- at- home settings to their employees. BPOs were doing their hiring processes online and so I took the advantage and after ten years of trying my best and waiting, I finally got the job I dreamed of having! I was hired in one of the biggest BPO Company in the country. Finally, I felt so fulfilled and grateful to God for granting my heart's desire.

Day one was both amazing and stressful. It feels like I backdated ten years ago and started to stutter and shiver whenever my name is called for an opinion on certain topics. Thankfully, I survived!

Night shifts came. I started to become anxious and stressed out and worst I sensed I'll be depressed in no time. I started missing the feeling of being a mother to my kids and a wife to my husband.

Everyday became a routine. When I leave home for work my kids were still sleeping and when I come home the next day my kids were awake and I am the one who's sleeping. Most of my weekends where spent on washing the clothes and running some errands. It feels so empty. I felt like I'm just someone who rented a space at home. I have less time spent with my family and I became unhappy at work. One month had past and the feeling was getting worst.

My hands are all up for those who survived working in BPOs. The job was indeed not for the weak ones. I was really amazed at how mothers like me specially those who just gave birth surpassed the struggle of being away from their young ones at night. My respect are for them all.

Then I wake up one day, very determined to give up my dream job and chose to be with my family and I am absolutely happy.

Yes, I've got my dream job but I gave up and I am exceptionally HAPPY