He was unfaithful, should you stay?

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Avatar for queengg
2 years ago

How do you determine whether to stay or depart after learning that your spouse has been having an affair? Because you've been misled, your immediate instinct is usually rage and a desire to flee-fight or flight. However, once you've calmed down, you understand how much you'll lose, especially if you have children. Don't rush into a decision you'll come to regret later, after the damage has been done. Although it is possible to find remarkable love after a late-in-life divorce, most people say that the potential mates available are no better than the ones they left.

While I don't believe you should stay in a relationship if it isn't working, I have seen many couples who put in the effort and end up happier than they were before. The affair may have occurred as a result of long-standing marital issues that can be resolved to the satisfaction of both partners. Dissatisfaction frequently stems from resentment, and the core causes can be addressed through counseling. A marriage can be changed and turned into a satisfying life of delightful companionship if both spouses are prepared to adjust what isn't working.

I also see a lot of couples that reconcile after a divorce because they had the opportunity to experience what it's like to be alone, to settle down, and to let go of petty resentments. Unfortunately, the price of the divorce, property division, and other expenses have left them significantly poorer. Here are some factors to consider while deciding whether to stay or leave:

Reasons to stay!

1- Your spouse realizes that he or she has a problem and is prepared to seek help in resolving it, as well as take responsibility for rebuilding trust.

2- You and your partner are going to counseling to figure out why the affair happened and how to fix the issues.

3- If your sex life was off track, you're getting it back on track.

4- You have a lengthy history together, shared finances, and familial ties that make it worthwhile to keep the marriage intact.

5- You're still in love with each other, and it's obvious.

Reasons to leave!

1- Your partner denies the situation, makes excuses, and places blame on you. This indicates that he or she is committed to the cheating activity and is unwilling to change.

2- You've had it, don't feel attached, and don't want to work on it any longer. Make sure this isn't a one-time rage.

3- You're ready to be self-sufficient.

4- You either don't have any children, they're all grown up, or you're positive that a divorce will be better for them than the current situation.

5- Your partner will not give up the other connection, or infidelity in general.

Working through these challenges together will either repair and strengthen your current relationship, or teach you the skills and attitudes you'll need to make any relationship wonderful.

Have you ever experienced infedelity?
Were married or are you married?
How did you cope?

IF NOT....

Do you know someone personally who has gone through this or is going through this?
How did they cope?

Feel free to share in the comments below!!

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Avatar for queengg
2 years ago