Trying to find some answers...

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2 years ago
Topics: Life, Blog, Story, Writing, Experiences, ...

The weekend is all about fun, chill, and relaxation. After spending an exhausting week, people try to find a getaway, and a relaxing weekend provides that. Many people used to go for a short trip, many used to go to see their parents but now, due to this pandemic virus situation, everything has changed drastically.

For the past 1 year, weekends are the same for me as a weekday, except a few. Project pressure is something which is really hard to deal with, at least I feel that. As a freelancer, it's hard to describe and answer a simple question: What do you do for a living. Anyhow, I have mentioned before that I have been going through so much, and also this pandemic is affecting my life drastically. I wanted to travel but due to travel restrictions and bans, I often postpone my trips even due to fear, I can't go to the other city as well. Plus, due to winter weather, it's hard to go anywhere anytime. So, the overall situation seems unhealthy to me. As I live a digital life, so my life can be frustrating too. I know my level of taking stress is out of control and somehow I am feeling that my mind is out of control now. I know what is happening but every day somehow for some reason, my depression level is increasing.

So what's going on exactly. Maybe my depression story might not be appealing to you, I know you will have your own opinion but from my side, it's hard to deal with. Because no matter how much I try to search for positivity, I end up giving priority to all the negativities around me. This is not just a one-day problem, this is happening for a long time and I am exhausted fighting with all these. I am consuming negativity for a very long time, I took pressure for good but in the end, I found out that the result of consuming everything is zero. Like I mentioned before that a strong person can feel broken too. And that was the main reason for the first stage of my depression level.

I tried and still, now I am trying. I know I need to change my way of seeing situations but it's not gonna happen instantly. Dealing with mental illness is not an easy job and if you show people you are weak then people will start taking advantage of yours. I have seen this in life, people try to poke, blame and insult those who are mentally weak.

One of my friends once told me, whenever you will feel low, see yourself in the mirror. You will find your answers. I know some situations can't be handled as I want, my involvement right now is making me feel worthless. Or perhaps, this is not the right time to handle those situations as there is nothing left for me...

So, what can be done? How I can work on myself...

I will definitely find the answers... Maybe soon...

Love

Priyan

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Original post written by @priyanarc...
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Avatar for priyanarc
2 years ago
Topics: Life, Blog, Story, Writing, Experiences, ...

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