The hall, the beautiful dresses, the flowers and the cheer. It is always so easy to get carried away by the glamour of nuptial ceremonies. However, it is only a matter of hours before it is all over, and reality kicks in. A survey revealed that regardless of how close many couples were during courtship, signing those papers and saying the two powerful words, 'I Do', definitely took things to a whole new level. If the wedding bells are already chiming for you, here are some information that you may find useful.
Adjusting to Oneness
Marriage is a contract that you sign, an oath to put up with someone else's peculiarities. You would be required to share almost everything and this is not quite as easy as it seems. Of course, issues would come up, regardless of how over the moon you are for each other and you have to be prepared for them. As much as resolving these issues would not be a walk in the park, you can definitely hold hands as you walk through them. The key is to be open minded, communicate feelings freely, be polite and offer no ultimatums, unless absolutely necessary.
Loss of Freedom and feeling of Independence.
Marriage is co-dependent. It has to be, to work. Having to consider someone else before making every decision will not be exciting. Many tend to lose themselves in all of this. Others try hard to hold on to their sense of freedom, scared that they are bound to lose it. Well, it doesn't have to be so. While you and your spouse would definitely have to do things together and for each other, you can also live your lives, as separate individuals. Make plans with old and new friends alike, and stick to them. Pursue interests outside of your marriage and engage yourself in personal activities. It helps you feel in charge of things.
Finances
This can be very nasty so it is a discussion that must be had before hand. You may want to seek financial counsel from a professional. Discuss savings and spendings, bills, insurances, and most importantly, long term investment goals. It is better to be on the same page, to avoid problems that may arise, after marriage.
Long Term Goals
Discuss this too. Career, children, vacations. You both need to meet on a middle ground. Discuss your careers when they start to seem like stumbling blocks. Also, things are bound to change when the children come. It would be great to talk about just how many you would want to have, how to prevent pregnancy when you are not ready, or when you are done, and how you are both going to cater for them, as partners.
Sex Life
Statistics show that many couples believe their sex life got better after marriage. There is more time to get involved in the activity and of course, more freedom to try new things. However, it may tend to get boring from time to time. For this reason, it would be good to keep an open mind and become more adventurous, spicing things up. Maybe not so kinky and wild, but just enough to keep things interesting.
Paradigm Shift
Your sense of commitment will definitely get better. Especially when the kids come in, you will have to become more responsible, and more reliable. No more personal space or me-time. Your world basically gets redefined, and even outsiders start to see you as a different person. It may tend to get too much, but you can pull right through.
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