Do you know someone who is complaining all the time? Here we tell you the consequences and what you can do to avoid it. Complaining is a way to release tension and let off steam in an uncomfortable or unpleasant situation. The problem is that we live in a society where this expression is the main character.
They come from many directions and can be important and well-founded complaints or, on the contrary, complaints about insignificant matters and sustained by very weak arguments. However, we forget that hearing complaints repeatedly can affect the listener.
Several psychological aspects are altered when the speeches and information around us are characterized by pessimism, negativity and anger. This is the general conclusion that is drawn from different research, which has concluded that complaints modify the mood, attention span and even the functionality of the brain.
We will now go deeper into this particular source of discomfort and propose a series of tips to avoid them.
Complaining as a way of life
Expressing disagreement or displeasure is a natural and healthy response. However, there are people who make it a way of life. They complain regardless of the course of events. From the moment they start their day, they have something to complain about: it's hot, it's cold, they've been slow to serve it, they haven't put any effort into preparing a dish... And, what's worse, they don't propose a solution or do anything to change their situation either.
Furthermore, at the relationship level, the complaint can become a conscious or unconscious form of manipulation. With it, the person tries to generate guilt, compassion or conflict. Thus, he saves himself from assuming responsibility and putting the other person in the situation of having to solve his problem or intervene to satisfy him.
There are other people who even, when faced with a problem that does not affect them, allow themselves to manifest a poisonous discontent. Also, when someone proposes a solution or an alternative, or gives a positive news, these people quickly find a weak or negative point with which to tarnish it.
The consequences
Having people who constantly complain, like those mentioned above, is certainly a source of stress. Hearing complaints leads to negative thoughts and emotions. It causes us to worry and, with it, fear and sadness grow, as well as the feeling that something, or everything, is going wrong and we must be alert.
In addition, listening to complaints causes our well-being and ability to concentrate to decrease, since the resources of attention have to be distributed among more stimuli. This also affects our own ability to make decisions and solve problems, since the ability to focus on important elements and discard options is altered.
This happens, it seems, because our brain automatically interprets the complaint as a threat. Thus, the body responds by triggering a series of physiological processes that would be essential in an emergency situation, that is, the hypothalamic-hypophysial-adrenal axis secretes a rapid and large amount of cortisol. In a situation of real threat this would serve to make us run away from the threat or defend ourselves.
In the case of complaints, we do not put that escape or defense response into action, so the brain is interpreting a danger about which we do nothing. We just listen passively. That is when the effects can be really harmful. It seems that our hippocampal neurons are starting to die.