What does it really mean to have a friend?
What is your own definition of a friend?
These are questions I have been asking myself recently, I can't seem to understand what it really means to have friends and to call someone a friend...
I feel like everyone has a friend except me... but until yesterday it didn't really matter much to me... But someone said somethings and ask me some questions that keep me thinking if I have a problem or something.
I was chatting with this lady, she's from my church, we had a get together and I attended. I got there late and it wasn't as fun as I expected so I left quite early. After she got home we were chatting and she said I don't have any friends, that she wasn't surprised and I Tried to tell her I did have friends, don't think she believed me but then she asked me what is my own definition of a friend and who do I consider a friend?
Well, I told her "A Friend is someone who you have at least one thing in common with and based in that thing you are able to tolerate each other and accommodate each other... It someone you can feel at ease with and share problems with even if you don't get a solution from them...", She them said her own definition of Friend is quite different from that but she didn't tell me about it.
Since yesterday but have been lost in thought, thinking back and forth. Truly to an extent i don't think I have anyone in my life I can call a friend that I share anything with. There is no such person in my life. So I was left thinking if I am the one who has a problem with making friends or I judge people too much, or I am just not good enough to have friends.
I see people around, relating with each other but when I join them, I don't feel like it was meant for me... They don't share my vision. Those who share my vision are not ready to see it through. Then again I don't know if it's because I am a programmer, I think I saw somewhere that programmers don't have much friends. So could it be that I find faults in people because I am a programmer, because by nature when I see a problem I try to solve it. Could it be I am try to solve people that's why I can't make friends?
These questions too over my mind last night until I slept off without getting a good answer. I guess I would just ignore the thoughts and just keep leaving my life, though I am not one to run away from questions but when it comes to my emotions I can't really handle them... It seems there is more to it than I can seem to grasp... I prefer it better when I am handling coding problems.
I do wish to have friends, but not friends that would lead me out of my path to be the best version of myself, that is the only thing I know about that.