3 tips on how to learn to be alone

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Avatar for pandoru1997
2 years ago

We live life running with a vertiginous inertia by default we are complex beings, we have complex sensations and living sometimes can be complex we when we are born do not come with an instruction manual sometimes we are invaded by feelings, emotions do not know very well what happens to us, there is another time we feel surrounded by people, but deep down we feel empty and others seek solitude to feel sensations are feelings that seem invisible, but it is happening constantly and if we are connected with our body we can hear us better and if you are more accelerated you feel it less.

I've been alone for a while now and I imagine that you must feel the same plus the events happening in the world today with a sense of loneliness, but sometimes loneliness is what heals us and heals us.

There is a belief that because of all these events we must bear the burden alone or live the emotions alone or cover them in some way. But this makes the emptiness in us become much bigger, it is not really well understood why we do not feel alone, maybe it is something natural or maybe it is some kind of fault in our nature. some kind of flaw in our nature.

What is understandable is when we are alone and doing nothing, then you notice the difference, you begin to relate to yourself, begins to emerge what you carry inside, you begin to see what is inside you, although this can feel like an abyss or a rewarding experience. I am not a motivational speaker, I have felt alone sometimes, but there is a clear difference between being alone and feeling alone, because of my lifestyle I spend a lot of time alone, but as I am doing things I do not have that feeling of being alone even though I have often been in public places like a discotheque surrounded by people and I have felt completely alone and completely empty.

Throughout my life I have been able to realize that people, things, productivity are not going to fill my emptiness, my anxiety, my feeling of loneliness. I have been afraid to be alone, but it has only happened, this is because the emptiness was so big and so neglected that I was afraid to be alone and it is normal because as sociable beings and socializing we do very well, although sometimes it is an escape and it is good to socialize to not feel that discomfort, but we cannot run away from ourselves forever, we are born alone and we die alone and at some point we will have to look into that abyss face it and call it what you want.

And if you do not relate to that emptiness, you end up filling your life with things, people, activities that do not bring you absolutely nothing. It's great to share and relate, but the thing is from where you are relating, today is super easy to run away from ourselves, be disconnected, have the feeling of being accompanied, social networks and the internet have opened a world of sociability, but are we socializing? But sometimes it's great to be with that company that we belong to a group, but if I ask you the question who are you reading this article with... Is there anyone around you? I think we are not becoming lonely beings eternally connected, I think we are destined to be alone or to feel lonely than we really are, what is known is that the feeling of loneliness grows year after year or the number of people who are alone increases sporadically.

We try to fill the day so as not to be with that feeling of loneliness because in the end we escape from that feeling of emptiness and being alone, but I think it is essential and that is what I am applying to my daily life to begin to relate to my inner self with my emptiness and it is brutal because not everyone can do it nor have the need to connect to the screens, that they are doing something or anything that can become an escape, any activity or thought is an escape is something to be entertained and not to be connected to feel that discomfort to stop feeling the sensation of the body the greater the escape the greater the emptiness becomes the greater the pain, for hender I started doing things by myself like going out, going to eat or to write, traveling alone without doing anything at the end any activity does not reduce loneliness, on the other hand, if you do activities that make you relate to yourself you begin to be more connected to your body to know what begins to happen inside you, curiously when you are alone the demons inside you begin to calm down in a certain way.

It is much worse the idea that we have of loneliness and emptiness than of our own loneliness or emptiness itself, you do not claim anything or anyone or you put an expectation or a responsibility to put someone to make you happy. Happiness is a very heavy burden, people run away from this kind of responsibility, we can not love anyone if we do not love ourselves first and that happens when we are well and we are alone and doing nothing, although it was said in the bible that mentioned the one who isolates himself for his own longing or selfishness against all wisdom or practice will explode. This means that if you find love inside, do not keep it for your own satisfaction, share it with others, because in the end life and shared happiness is more happiness and more life, so it is more the second thing that I do not without doing first that I had mentioned is to relate with yourself the second would be to establish relationships with other people or animals, therefore, love yourself as to others as to yourself we can not offer love if we have not healed, we have no love towards us.

Because if we do not establish dependence on the other we want to retain it for us to leave us because it is the cause of our happiness even we will want to change it to meet our expectations our in the end generate the opposite effect the more dependent more escape from the other, I am a dopamine addict I am anagram 7 in case you do not know I am an emotional independent I cost me a lot of loneliness, but in the end I have realized that I can not always be in constant stimulation or constant adventures my life is like that, I do not know how yours is and above all that I am investing and that has me with a constant adrenaline that in the end this makes me disconnect from my body that I live much more in the mind and live much more accelerated this makes my relationships that I had established from the beginning are affected that are much more irascible or that generate conflicts and the last key that I am going to give you.

When you create a connection with other people share everything you have discovered in the first step that I mentioned because in this way you establish much deeper connections and much more lasting in time, at least that is my experience because in the end opening up makes the other person relax with us and understand you and that makes the other person open up to their inner world, because we are universes because other people are other universes so that they expose themselves and explain to us how they see the world and what they feel, in the end it makes us understand each other much better.

And to finish this with a phrase from Rumi that goes like this ¨ inside us there is a universe inside us, discover it and you will never be alone¨.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this article, I hope you find it useful... have a great day...

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Avatar for pandoru1997
2 years ago