Surely you have already heard that every change in your life, but also in the whole world, starts with you. If you don’t appreciate yourself and don’t love yourself enough, things probably don’t go your way in life the way you’d like. Start drastic changes by learning to love yourself
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If you’ve ever thought about personal change and been looking for literature to help you with that, you’ve certainly come across author Louise L. Hay. Many swear it has changed their lives for the better. In her new book 'Strength is in you', published in Croatia by the publishing house Mozaik knjiga, the popular author, among other things, brings ten tips on how to love yourself.
1. Stop criticizing yourself
When we make ourselves bad, then we have big problems. People who grew up in dysfunctional families acquire the habit of relentless self-condemnation and believe that something is wrong with them. How often do you tell yourself that you are stupid, ugly, incompetent, unattractive? It is extremely important to understand how much you are worth. Start discovering your creative differences and personality differences and start appreciating yourself precisely because of those differences. When you are critical of yourself, you overshadow your own quality.
2. Stop being afraid
With frightening thoughts, you only make the situation worse, and you turn small problems into huge ones. It’s time to approach fear in a different way. Instead of thoughts that scare you and create new problems, consciously choose different thoughts. Explain to yourself how long it takes for scary thoughts not to get you anywhere and then choose thoughts that support and encourage you. It’s not hard, it just takes a little practice.
3. Be patient, kind and gentle with yourself
Impatience is a resistance to learning new things about oneself so many forget to enjoy the very path of cognition. And patience can be practiced. Change is a process and you must not forget it. Every day you try to show yourself tenderness, kindness and patience. You will get better at it over time, and it will become a good habit for you as well.
4. Learn to be gentle with your own thoughts
We must not hate ourselves for negative thoughts and we must not blame ourselves for that. What we need to do is create new habits - relaxation exercises, meditation, visualization. All three methods will lead you to more beautiful and positive thoughts. Everyone has negative thoughts and the solution is not to whip yourself for it. Practice slowly and fill yourself with happier thoughts.
5. Praise yourself
Praise builds the spirit. If you’ve only criticized yourself so far, you’ll find it hard to brag. But you start doing it anyway. You can start with small things - for example, tell yourself that you are beautiful. It won’t work for you at first, but over time it will, and then start bragging about much bigger things as well. It is not the goal to walk the world and punch everyone in the nose that you are the best, but the goal is to become aware of your own worth. Unfortunately, many people are not aware of how much they are worth and how much they give the best they can.
6. Allow others to help you
When you need help, ask for it. The fact that you think you can do everything yourself is a sign of strong ego and weakness. Let people close to you help you. Trust them with your problems because more heads are smarter than one. If you carry a lot of things and a neighbor offers to help you, accept it. It is also a form of developing trust and good relationships.
7. Love your own negativities
Every man has both positive and negative in him and that is normal. Instead of constantly punishing yourself for your own negativities, try to love them. The first step is to recognize them, and then to accept and love them. When you do, you diminish their power and make it easier to change yourself for the better. Don’t tell yourself you hate being hasty, for example. No one is perfect, and neither are you. Make friends with your ‘dark’ sides as well.
8. Take care of your body
Think about how much care you pay to your car or your house… And how much attention do you pay to your own body? Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, junk food, immobility… It all upsets your body. Even if you practice some or all of the above, it does not mean that you are a bad person. You just haven’t found a better way to nurture yourself. You can change that. Choose healthier foods, quit smoking, and consume alcohol and drugs. Seek help, do good for your body so your health will serve you for a long time.
9. Love yourself - now!
Don't wait for everything in your life to work out perfectly and then love each other. Appreciate and love yourself now - even though you don’t have a partner, you don’t have a good job, you have a few extra pounds. Now you love yourself because only then will you be able to change things in life that you are not happy with. And only in this way will you learn to love others with their imperfections.