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*Are there effective ways of dealing with low self-esteem? Let's find out in the second part of the two-part article.*
Further to our discussion on the need for high self-esteem in part 1 on this subject, we will now look at some pointers for identifying low or high esteem and what we need to do from thereon. If you find the pointers indicating that you are one with high self-esteem, that’s great news. Continue on that path. However, if the pointers show that you are one of low self-esteem, no big deal. Changes happen all the time, and you can change too.
One word of caution is that don’t use the pointers to measure others. These pointers are for self-assessment. As human beings, we have become adept at stating what is wrong with the world but seldom look inwards and acknowledge what is wrong with us. Let’s change the trend. We will look at what is right with the world and what needs improvement within us.
Here are some typical tendencies that we see in people on both sides of self-esteem. Now, realize that we are talking about these tendencies observed for most of the day in a person. It is not about once in a while tendency. Meaning, a high self-esteem person can get angry once in a while, and so can a low self-esteem person be participative for once. So, check for how much time of the day you tend to lean towards one form of behavior. That would give you an idea.
• Realizes that there are many helpful people out there
• Is open to new ideas and thoughts
• Looks at ways to improve himself, or herself
• Believes he or she can achieve the goal that they have set out to achieve
• Takes responsibility
So, these are the pointers. Again, use it for self-assessment *only*. Also, having low self-esteem does not mean you are bad. It only means you have a wider potential to improve and a chance to be ten times or hundreds or even a million times better than what you are now. That definitely should make you feel good. But remember, you are already fine. 😊
Simple, using the same system that made you a low self-esteem person; means, using your subconscious. But the effort will be a bit more than when we were a child. As a child, we accepted everything directly, and hence our subconscious got programmed faster, but as an adult or teenager, our subconscious will reject an opposing view at the first go. So, we have to unlearn and relearn. Is it a difficult job? No. 😊
There are numerous ways of doing good to our self-esteem, but let's take some of the tried and tested methods. Some of these methods are direct, while few others are indirect ways of dealing with self-esteem issues.
Also, this works for both – the low esteemers and high esteemers. Both can improve, right?
The first and direct way to change ourselves is to use affirmations. With affirmations, though, we need to be ready to get opposing views from our minds, but our success lies in our persistence. If, incidentally, our mental states that we are not good at persistence, then use the affirmation - “I am persistent”. First, get out of that frame of mind and then use other affirmations across other areas.
Exercising is one direct way of stopping our internal negative chatter. When we exercise, we feel good, and that ‘feel good’ mood moves with us for a good part of the day. So, exercise to stop the muck in our head.
This is an indirect way of helping us gain high self-esteem. We keep comparing and feel low. The fact is that we, even in our current state, are far better than millions or even billions of people out there. There is no point in comparing and feeling bad, more so when the comparison itself may not be a fair one.
So, stop comparing and appreciate all that we already have and are.
This is an indirect way but powerful, nonetheless. The idea is to make a gratitude list and thank God for all the wonderful things we already have. The reason for that is, a person with low self-esteem almost always feels that he does not have anything while others do. The gratitude list shifts our focus from others and brings it back to us, and makes us evaluate our own blessings.
Do this as a daily routine and see your self-esteem skyrocket.
Low self-esteem dictates that we be jealous of others’ achievements while high self-esteem blesses others’ successes and is successful. So, the basic thing to do is to replicate the actions of a high self-esteem person. Bless the successes of others. Stop thinking about how they got it or how bad they are, etc. Just bless them even if we feel like not doing it.
Remember, what we give is what comes back to us. *Blessings Given is equal to Blessing Received.*
No matter where we are right now or in what state, we can always choose to move towards the life we want. The mere awareness of our current self helps us move in the direction that we wish to go. So, appraise yourself and change yourself.
With this, we come to the end of the second part of the two-part series on Our Self-Esteem and Us. I hope there were useful exercises for you to carry on. Have fun with the process, and know that you are good!
*Remember, the shift from nothingness to awesomeness is quite quick! 😊*