Our Self Esteem and Us | Part 2

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Written by

Health Focused | Understanding the Self | Positive Health Learner | That's Me! :)

3 years ago

Topics: Positive thinking, Self-improvement, Personal Growth, Mindset, Mental Health

Self Esteem

*Are there effective ways of dealing with low self-esteem? Let's find out in the second part of the two-part article.*

Further to our discussion on the need for high self-esteem in part 1 on this subject, we will now look at some pointers for identifying low or high esteem and what we need to do from thereon. If you find the pointers indicating that you are one with high self-esteem, that’s great news. Continue on that path. However, if the pointers show that you are one of low self-esteem, no big deal. Changes happen all the time, and you can change too.

One word of caution is that don’t use the pointers to measure others. These pointers are for self-assessment. As human beings, we have become adept at stating what is wrong with the world but seldom look inwards and acknowledge what is wrong with us. Let’s change the trend. We will look at what is right with the world and what needs improvement within us.

So, shall we proceed?

Let’s go.

Self Esteem Pointers

Here are some typical tendencies that we see in people on both sides of self-esteem. Now, realize that we are talking about these tendencies observed for most of the day in a person. It is not about once in a while tendency. Meaning, a high self-esteem person can get angry once in a while, and so can a low self-esteem person be participative for once. So, check for how much time of the day you tend to lean towards one form of behavior. That would give you an idea.

Low Self Esteem General Pointers

• Unhappy

• Resentful

• Stressed

• Angry

• Irritated

• Frustrated

• Thinks that the world is out to get them

• Jealous

• Feels that other person got his wealth or success wrongly or illegally

• Exhibits zero tolerance to others’ views

• Likes to be alone and hates company

• Feels out of place in a group

• Nervous

• Cautious

• Anxious

• Lacks congruence in what is thought and what is said

• Spend most of the time thinking negatively about most of the things

• Blames others for almost everything

• Tries to fit in by accepting others’ opinions even if in truth he/she is opposed to it

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High Self Esteem General Pointers

• Happy

• Joyous

• Participative

• Considers every day as a blessing

• Has many friends

• Blesses others' successes and prosperity

• Realizes that there are many helpful people out there

• Is open to new ideas and thoughts

• Looks at ways to improve himself, or herself

• Believes he or she can achieve the goal that they have set out to achieve

• Confident

• Assertive

• Takes responsibility

So, these are the pointers. Again, use it for self-assessment *only*. Also, having low self-esteem does not mean you are bad. It only means you have a wider potential to improve and a chance to be ten times or hundreds or even a million times better than what you are now. That definitely should make you feel good. But remember, you are already fine. 😊

What To Do Now? | How to Boost My Self Esteem?

Simple, using the same system that made you a low self-esteem person; means, using your subconscious. But the effort will be a bit more than when we were a child. As a child, we accepted everything directly, and hence our subconscious got programmed faster, but as an adult or teenager, our subconscious will reject an opposing view at the first go. So, we have to unlearn and relearn. Is it a difficult job? No. 😊

Let’s see how to go about it.

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Steps to Boost Self Esteem

There are numerous ways of doing good to our self-esteem, but let's take some of the tried and tested methods. Some of these methods are direct, while few others are indirect ways of dealing with self-esteem issues.

Also, this works for both – the low esteemers and high esteemers. Both can improve, right?

1. Affirmations

The first and direct way to change ourselves is to use affirmations. With affirmations, though, we need to be ready to get opposing views from our minds, but our success lies in our persistence. If, incidentally, our mental states that we are not good at persistence, then use the affirmation - “I am persistent”. First, get out of that frame of mind and then use other affirmations across other areas.

2. Exercise

Exercising is one direct way of stopping our internal negative chatter. When we exercise, we feel good, and that ‘feel good’ mood moves with us for a good part of the day. So, exercise to stop the muck in our head.

3. Quit Comparing

This is an indirect way of helping us gain high self-esteem. We keep comparing and feel low. The fact is that we, even in our current state, are far better than millions or even billions of people out there. There is no point in comparing and feeling bad, more so when the comparison itself may not be a fair one.

So, stop comparing and appreciate all that we already have and are.

4. Gratitude List

This is an indirect way but powerful, nonetheless. The idea is to make a gratitude list and thank God for all the wonderful things we already have. The reason for that is, a person with low self-esteem almost always feels that he does not have anything while others do. The gratitude list shifts our focus from others and brings it back to us, and makes us evaluate our own blessings.

Do this as a daily routine and see your self-esteem skyrocket.

5. Bless Success and Prosperity

Low self-esteem dictates that we be jealous of others’ achievements while high self-esteem blesses others’ successes and is successful. So, the basic thing to do is to replicate the actions of a high self-esteem person. Bless the successes of others. Stop thinking about how they got it or how bad they are, etc. Just bless them even if we feel like not doing it.

Remember, what we give is what comes back to us. *Blessings Given is equal to Blessing Received.*

Parting Thoughts | Self-Esteem Can Be Remoulded

No matter where we are right now or in what state, we can always choose to move towards the life we want. The mere awareness of our current self helps us move in the direction that we wish to go. So, appraise yourself and change yourself.

With this, we come to the end of the second part of the two-part series on Our Self-Esteem and Us. I hope there were useful exercises for you to carry on. Have fun with the process, and know that you are good!