Affirmations – The Basics
What are affirmations? Do affirmations work? How and why do they work? Why do they appear to not work in some cases? Read to find out.
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Part 1: What Are Affirmations?
Affirmations are a repetition of sentences or phrases with feelings, which shape our thoughts and, therefore, our beliefs. Our beliefs, in turn, shape who we are. Hence, affirmations play a vital role in making us who we are.
Affirmations need not necessarily be our voluntary creations. Still, they are also, involuntary and in many cases, inadvertent collection of sentences from our teachers, parents, neighbors, friends, and many other individuals with whom we had interacted or interact during our lifetime.
Part 2: How Do We Check If Affirmations Are Working For Us?
The easiest and most comfortable way to check if affirmations are working for us is to check if we live our dreams. This question may have mixed reactions, with the vast majority having no idea what a dream is, leave alone living it. Let’s take some examples to elaborate on this point.
The best thing to do is to ask ourselves if we are enjoying what we are doing and look for the response. If our response borders on “I am overworked”, “my work would be better if not for that person”, “that person takes credit for my work”, “I could do better, if not for this or that”, “I would enjoy, if this opportunity is created for me”, “if only the job were this way then I could have done better”, and the likes then we are just about getting by in life. We are not necessarily doing the job or having the career we can have. If we completely enjoy what we are doing, then these problems would not be problems at all. We will just run them down with our passion and positive frame of mind.
We can check with similar questions covering every aspect of our life. For example – “Am I having the bank balance I would like to have?”, “Am I able to go for the trip I always wanted to go for?”, “Am I contributing enough for the cause I always wanted to help?” and listen to the answers. If the answers are positive, then great, but if you have it in the negative, then too bad. You have not been living your life the way you wanted to live. There is nothing to despair, though, because life is now, and you can change now.
But first, let’s understand the types of affirmations. I am sure you would have already guessed it. Let’s get through it anyway.
Part 3: What Are the Types of Affirmations?
Affirmations are of two kinds – positive and negative. Most of the authors, writers, and spiritual gurus have written about affirmations, with the idea of making life work for us and, therefore, may have listed only positive affirmations. Because of that, many of us wrongly think of affirmations as something positive only, but that is not the case.
The word affirmation itself means affirming something. The affirming part could be positive or negative. When we understand this, only then can we appreciate the role that affirmations play in our lives. Hereafter, the idea should be to identify the negative part and reduce or eliminate it while to identify the positive part and continue or increase it.
Part 4: How Are Affirmations Shaping Our Lives?
Affirmations are shaping our lives in many ways, but the most prominent ways are consciously or subconsciously. Conscious affirmations are those which we use to affirm something knowingly. For example, let’s say we are afraid of a situation and we start saying ‘I can do this’, to calm ourselves, then we are witnessing a situation using affirmation consciously. “I can do this’ – is the conscious affirmation used.
On the other hand, subconscious affirmations are the ones we picked up from our environment and have been deeply ingrained in our mind, to the extent that our subconscious starts believing it to be true. Most of the subconscious affirmations are usually picked up by us during childhood and make us what we are right now. If we could make a chart of affirmations being picked up by us versus time, it would look like Figure 1.
The understanding is that we pick up the affirmation that is constantly playing in our environment, and it starts affecting or altering our constant thoughts. When we repeatedly give thought to the same thing, we start believing it to be true. That is when our belief shapes us as a person. Let’s take an example.
If your boss constantly bombards you with negative feedback on your work, then you start thinking about it and wondering whether you are seriously not good for the job or that particular activity. Over a period of time, because of your constant thinking, your mind starts looking for reasons to prove or disprove the notion of - “not being good at work.” If, unfortunately, you have experiences that point towards you ‘not being good’, then you slowly start believing it. From thereon, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy until you become a person who is ‘not good at work’.
Remember, it was just a notion, which became a belief. This means that an assumption constantly repeated can become a reality, which is good news because any notion we carry in the positive sense should also become a belief and hence take us forth in life.
The above picture is termed as ‘Ideal Scenario’ because of two assumptions. The first one is that only one affirmation shapes our life, and the second one is that it is a positive one. The reality, though, is that we are bombarded with affirmations, excluding the ones we wish to train our minds on virtually every day. This means there could be many affirmations shaping our life at any given point, and it could, in turn, be positive or negative. Let’s look at a chart depicting the practical scenario of a person’s life in Figure 2.
Note: Affirmation leading to thoughts does not mean that the first instance of us hearing the affirmation makes us accept and offer thoughts. It is only the repeated bombarding of a phrase or sentence, which becomes an affirmation leading to altering thoughts and beliefs.
In Figure 2, we observe that the affirmations are shown at two levels, which depicts our aging process. As kids, we pick up lots of things from our parents, teachers, friends, and neighbors, shaping us. After that, we go to work, and the next level of affirmations come in to play from this new environment, which further shapes us. Basically, it means affirmations will be part of our lives, throughout our life, but we can control them.
Part 5: How Do I Control Affirmations and Use It To My Advantage?
Many of us are on auto-pilot when it comes to affirmations. The affirmations we picked up during our childhood still control our lives. However, the sad part is that many of us will not even realize it, leave alone doing something about it. And that is where we live a life of mediocrity, frustration, envy, and hatred. These emotions stem from the fact that a person being served the ‘not so good part of life’ feels victimized without realizing that they can control it.
So, how do we manage affirmations and use them to our advantage? It is simple. First, we need to understand the areas where we feel unfulfilled or not having much luck, as mentioned in Part 2. Then we need to frame affirmations, the way we want life to be, under that particular area. Thereafter, the idea should be to speak the affirmation to ourselves at least twice a day. A good time for the affirmations would be morning as we wake up and the night before sleep. In between, if we get more time, nothing like it.
Part 6: How Should Affirmations Be Framed?
Affirmations should be framed in the positive, in the first person, specific, and as happening right now. Let’s take an example.
“My greatest good is coming to me.”
This was an affirmation one person was using, which prima facie looks fine, but observe the part ‘is coming to me’. When will it actually be here? Such an affirmation becoming a belief is a risky business because the person may live his life in anticipation without ever getting it. A better affirmation would be:
“I am living my greatest good, right now.”
Of course, we can get a little more specific about the ‘greatest goodness’ part. If it is happiness, a car that we seek, or money, then those parts should be mentioned instead of greatest goodness.
Part 7: Why Do Affirmations Not Work in Some Cases?
When it comes to affirmations, no one is an exception, and it works for everyone. It takes a little longer or does not appear to work at all for some people because of the reason mentioned under Part 4. Let’s take an example to explain this part.
As a kid, you believed that you were are not good at mathematics, and hence, today, the belief still affects you while at your job. Therefore, you want to change and go ahead and write an Affirmation stating that “I am great at mathematics and statistics.” But no matter how many times you say it, it does not seem to work. Let’s look at the reason, taking Figure 3 into consideration.
The above figure shows the transition of the person’s affirmation as a kid and the belief that he developed. As an adult, if the person wants to change, he has to first transition from point A to point B and then from point B to point C to believe that he is good with numbers. The transition, therefore, is a bit more than usual and affects the new affirmation virulently.
The instance, the person says that “I am good at Mathematics”, he will hear voices in his head which will say “yeah, right!”, “don’t kid yourself”, “you are bad at numbers, and that’s the only truth”. Such will be the resistance that the person gives up at this stage, itself. But even if the person continues, it will take some time to transit from point A to B, during which he can give up. If they do persist beyond this point, then the actual change starts to happen. Herein, our thoughts and experiences help us form a new belief system and makes us a new person.
From the example, it is also clear that a person who is neutral (at point B) or a person who feels he is good with numbers (point C) already, would not have much problem adopting the new affirmation, and therefore, requires much lesser effort as compared to the person starting at point A. This is the only reason for the time delay, and as in most cases, persistence pays.
Before Concluding – The Law of Attraction (LoA)
Now, with affirmations, we not only live our lives in a certain way but keep attracting the same. If it is something positive, then it makes sense to continue. However, if it is not, then take the effort to change yourself; otherwise, the LoA will keep presenting more situations to make you believe in the not-so-great situation, event, or trait about yourself.
So, now when we look at affirmations, we do have a new perspective to it and also the fact that it works for us and in our favor. Therefore, it only fits to carry on with the efforts to affirm positively and live a positive life!
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**Image Courtesy:** My own and Geralt at Pixabay