To the guy who sleeps first...

saturn in your hair,

yet fingers softer than wine

thou sweet ironies

—silvered why's // claementine

Remember the haiku that I wrote you? Earlier today, I was fumbling through my notes app and found this somewhere together with my other abandoned and unfinished poetry entries like some old oranged memories pushed back in the corner of our minds. I might not have mentioned it to you back then, but I don't really write haikus a lot. It just isn't my cup of tea. But because you said it was one of your favorite things, I decided to actually give it a try. And I loved it a lot. And honestly, for the very first time, I wasn't shy nor even the slightest of scared of having you read it unlike how I usually do. And that's when I knew, you might be my person.

You were so good to me—too good that I sometimes cannot believe that the moments we used to have were real. And I just always remember how beautiful our energies come together as if our souls have known each other for years then. Everything was all golden to me. Waking up each day then never felt any lighter. And with you, being alive felt so liberating.

You taught me so many things. With you, I have come to embrace the bittersweet aftertaste of honesty and patience. All the things you painted on me, I shall never forget. Even if it also includes the sounds of your steps fading away as you walked back and how I never noticed. Of the every night I waited because you have fallen asleep on me. Of the every 'it's all right' I tell you and the many 'I'll make it up to you' that you spewed. Of the every mail that you sent that went fewer and fewer as each of my breath counts and how I never noticed. I shall never forget each of the sign you dropped and how I never noticed—of how I never seen it coming that I was losing you.

To the guy who sleeps first, I wish you know that I was never mad at you. Never did I ever felt betrayed for being left behind every night even until you finally dropped the final close. I respect what you feel and even the feelings that you have probably lost along the way. You made me feel loved and you made me realize that I have so much love in me to give as well. I learned a lot. And it was all worth it. And even though I would be given a chance to go back in time and change things then, I kid you not, but I would not change anything. Because people come and go in a blink of an eye. And your entrance and exit was such a painstaking eye candy, and a glimpse of it was everything to me.

(Hello! Thank you for reaching this far. This entry is a bit personal but because I was feeling a little cold, I can't help but reminisce the past. Hope you still enjoyed, tho. xx)