The Forsaken Mess Behind Illicit Love Affairs
It has happened again. However, this third time probably was the worst when it did come. Because when a choice you say is a mistake and happens more than once, you just know there is nothing left to hope for anymore. There is no longer enough fixing to suffice the cracks, nor chances of going back. No more love left to give, because they have at last finally reached the ground after falling in. There is no more than anything but acceptance. Acceptance for the ones that we lost and things we chose to drop. Acceptance to the fact that finally, we have come to the end.
And when endings happen between the person you hope would always be there for you—who were supposed to be there for you, no words could ever suffice the kind of cold you feel in your stomach. It was like something has died in their sleep in the comforts of your very inside. And you cannot help but question why the passing of something so beautiful and pure has to be, craddling the lifeless shell inside you, because no one would ever do. Then you try to ponder and wonder of all the almost's and what could have been's. Of the dreams you pictured life would be like when you wake up after you turn 20. The ones that you whispered to the moon when you were six inside your bedroom at 12 in the morning when you could not sleep. You wonder where could all they have been now? Have they all gone lost in the air or buried along the curvatures of the fading calendars? How did we come up here?
And yet, you still try. Despite the vague and the unknown, you try to look at excuses of what led us here. You try to understand why they had to put a period instead of a comma on our skins despite how it all goes against all the logical ways you could think of because you know that's the least that you should do. Because nobody is perfect and you know it. You try to understand, because, even you are not an exception to the possible flames for we all carry the same potential of doing it. You try to understand because everyone gets lonely at times and we all long for the kind of love we think we deserve. And maybe, they have just found it on other people instead on you.
But how long does the fine line of understanding someone breaking you over and over again goes? Where do you go when both of the people who were supposed to be your home break apart and walk away? How do you move forward with the world while being stuck with one foot in hell?
(Hello, thanks for reading up to here. This piece is some sort of a "venting out." This is everything I could ever put into words with whatever I am feeling right now. Nevertheless, I hope you're doing great wherever you are! Have a great day ahead!)
(Images are all from wehearit.com)
