Each person has their own beliefs, which are based on life experience, knowledge and culture of education. The totality of beliefs constitutes a person's worldview, differentiates actions and events into "good" and "bad", "right" and "wrong".
In other words, beliefs are a stable belief system that regulates a person's actions and actions, our attitude towards life and other people. Thanks to a set of beliefs, a person forms his own unique picture of the world. It is important to understand that it is stability that distinguishes beliefs from other mechanisms of perception and interpretation of reality.
Beliefs, due to their depth and significance for a person, determine the motives of behavior and can be the basis of motivation for achieving success. But why isn't this always the case?
This is due to the fact that not all beliefs have objective and conscious grounds. Sometimes they are formed solely on faith, on the significant words of parents, on common truths that were unconditionally accepted. For example, parents who, in childhood, constantly said, “You yourself cannot even do your homework” or “Don't go where you are not asked,” form the child's beliefs about himself and his capabilities.
In adulthood, they are transformed into their own deep negative attitudes "I can't," "I can't." These are limiting beliefs that prevent you from achieving success and realizing your full potential.
How limiting beliefs work against you
- I was offered a job where the salary is twice as high. Everything is as I dreamed, flexible schedule, according to my specialty and the staff seems to be friendly.
- And you agreed?
- No, I'm afraid that I won't take on new responsibilities.
- But you have a good qualification, and the current employer does not value you.
- I understand, but everything is stable here, everything is familiar, the usual duties, which I definitely cope with. You need to be able to be content with what you have.
This is one example of the passive manifestation of limiting beliefs. The hero of the dialogue is deliberately sure that he will not cope and that the stability, which may or may not suit him, is much better than a fully justified risk (after all, the opportunity was available, and not ephemeral). In the future, such behavior forms a feeling of dissatisfaction with life, takes root a negative perception of oneself and one's capabilities. It becomes even more difficult to change something. Apparent excuses can be the phrases “I’m no worse than the others”, “Now I’ll bear it, and everything will work out.”
In any case, the limiting belief withstood resistance and remained unchanged.
But there is also an active form of manifestation of such beliefs. Its main difference is that a person rebelliously resigns himself to a missed opportunity, and enters into open confrontation with someone who / what threatens his beliefs.
In this case, we are talking about the reaction of aggressive defense and negative value judgments against another person who does not share such beliefs. An example would be the following dialogue:
- I decided to open my own business, I calculated and prepared everything.
- Why did you do that? Did you feel bad before, didn't you have enough money? Or have you decided to be different?
- No, I'm just interested in this direction and I feel the strength in myself.
- Everyone says so, and then they are surprised that they have no money or friends. It should be simpler.
Of course, these examples can be exaggerated, but they clearly show how negative limiting beliefs work.
1. First of all, it is necessary to determine the path and source of the formation of such a belief. Most often, these are parental attitudes that were instilled before you yourself began to evaluate your abilities. In this case, awareness allows you to get away from the "uniqueness" of this approach and see the variety of possibilities.
2. Elaboration of beliefs affects the value structures of the personality, therefore, at the second stage, it is important to construct your own system of values, "to look at the world with your own eyes." In such work, pay attention to different success stories, examples of colleagues, as this will allow you to see different ways to achieve what you want.
3. Set your goals. Analyze and separate your own goals from the tasks that are imposed by society, family, etc.
4. Having done the inner work, do not delay translating desires into actions. You can create a plan in which to record specific steps in accordance with the new system of values and attitudes. Steps should be measurable and time-limited.
Working on transforming limiting beliefs will allow you to develop your potential and see opportunities that seemed previously unattainable.
