Many people now describe themselves as perfectionists. He characterizes perfectionism as a positive trait. However, perfectionism is not a feature that contributes positively to the person as it is thought. Underlying this feature is a sense of inadequacy. In fact, people we describe as perfectionists avoid making mistakes to cover up their feelings, and always strive to reach perfection.
Perfectionism is focusing on failure, not success
Perfectionists think that they will only be accepted when they do perfect work. That's why making mistakes is scary for them. For people of this nature, the need for approval is so intense that they pay attention to every detail that may deprive them of this approval, and they take precautions for them. That's why they often get bogged down in details. They see what no one else sees and plan for them. They plan for everything. They are very good at planning.
Constantly trying to overcome the feeling of inadequacy and making an unremitting effort to be accepted becomes a heavy burden after a while.
All this brings with it intense anxiety. When you look at perfectionist people, you may notice that they are constantly worrying about something, even if there is no event.
Again, if you pay attention, you can see that these people ignore their own success. They act as if it is the most important issue in their lives until they reach the result. They do not reward themselves for their success. However, if the result is the opposite, they punish themselves and those around them to the end. All this prevents them from enjoying the process. They are result oriented throughout the process. When they reach the result, they move on to their next target. They always have a new goal they want to reach.
Contrary to popular belief, perfectionists do not focus on success, their main focus is failure. Success-oriented people see failure as an acceptable outcome. They do not label themselves on a single outcome. This does not apply to perfectionists. If the result is not what they want, they generalize about themselves and make the worst possible inferences. None of your previous achievements matter. Because they failed in this business. If they did not achieve what they wanted, there is only one answer; failure.
Enjoy making mistakes
All these forms of behavior occur because they are afraid of making mistakes. Because, according to perfectionists, their mistakes are a big obstacle for them to be accepted. They see making mistakes as irreversible and unacceptable mistakes. Changing this view will change many things along with it.
Allow yourself to make mistakes. As you make mistakes, you will see that those mistakes will take you where you want faster. Because to make mistakes, you have to take steps. If you don't take any steps, you can't move forward. The important thing is not to make mistakes, but to not repeat mistakes and draw useful conclusions from them. Let yourself make mistakes like everyone else.
People love and accept each other just for who they are, not because they don't make mistakes. The thought that anyone will love you for making no mistakes is unfair to you in the first place. Because you set a goal that no one can reach. Because making mistakes is the first rule of being human.
Above all, never hesitate to show compassion for yourself. The person who needs your affection more than anyone else is you. If you want others to accept you, you must first accept yourself. For this; Celebrate your first mistake, not for making a mistake, but for taking a step. Give yourself a reward for the first thing you achieve the desired result, be it a small game or a big business deal. Never stop rewarding yourself.