This Time, I'll Take Care Of You

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Written by
3 years ago

I only realized what was happening, when it was already too late. When I had already lost you.

If there's only one thing I could change, it would be what happened to us. I know that I wasted the chances you gave me and I know I'll never get it back so I'm sincerely asking for your forgiveness. You may not forgive me today but I hope you will someday. I'm so sorry for all the painful words I said, I know it deeply hurt you yet you acted like it didn't. I've also hurt you a million times through my actions and I have no excuse. I already hurt you so much but you still stayed by my side. You gave me another chance.

I was taking you for granted yet your heart was still devoted. I didn't deserve you but I truly did love you. I wanted to make it up to you but still, I ended up disappointing you all the time. And for all of that, I apologize.

I've made a lot of mistakes. I've done a lot of things that hurt you, yet you stayed. You didn't leave. You held on. But then, one day, you couldn't take the pain anymore and decided that it was time to let go.

I know that we had a lot of ups and downs in our relationship but we stayed strong. You stayed strong for me. At least for six months. And that was worth it. I couldn't have asked for a better six months with you.

I know it wasn't perfect but I'm glad I got to spend those times with you. I truly am.

To be honest I'm quite confused whether I should stay or let go but one thing's for sure. I still love you. I still do. I hope you believe that because I'm still hoping. Hoping that we could still end up together. Hoping we could still do all the things we planned together, all the dreams we planned, and the future we imagined while looking at the stars above us. We had billions of dreams inside our minds as there are many stars in the sky. I'm still hoping that I will be the man who will wait for you at the end of the aisle, staring at that sweet smile, with you tugging your lips while wearing that white gown, with a bouquet of flowers in your hands and a little tear at the edge of your eyes. I'm still hoping that I'll be the father of your future children and you'll be with me every step of the way as my wife. I'm hoping that it's still me. That you'll still choose me. No matter how hard it gets I hope you'll still choose to take me back. And I want you back, too. But I don't want to force you, so I'll wait.

Even if it'll take a thousand years, I will wait because you are worth the wait.

If you'll give me another chance, I promise that I will treasure you more this time. I will make it up to you without disappointing you. I know I can't avoid making mistakes, maybe I'll even make you cry again. But I promise you that I will wipe your tears this time. I won't take you for granted. I will give you the love you deserve. I will respect your decisions. I will be more understanding. I will even change for the better not only for myself but also for you and for our future because I know that if I'll stay the same I will end up hurting you again. I will rekindle the lost love we had instead of changing it to a new one because the love I have for you will never change.

I know words mean nothing if my actions are still the same. But I will try my very best to be the best version of myself. I will leave my past self and head for a better future with you. I hope that you'll believe me because I promise you that this time, I'll take care of you.

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