Take Me Out of the Dark: I Wanna be Free.

Wednesday. November 3, 2021

Have you ever experienced the feeling that you are trapped in darkness? Have you ever experienced the feeling that you want to see light in your life that seems to be full of pain and sadness? We may all have experienced something like this that I am currently experiencing. I told myself I could still endure everything for the sake of the people I love. But now I don't think I can do it anymore. I seem to be choking on the kind of lifestyle I have. My brain seems to be full of suffering. It's so hard that I can't stand it anymore.

This Anxiety that I am experiencing now seems to have affected my daily routine too much already. I can no longer do well what I used to do. I could no longer focus or concentrate on what I had to do. I'm too stressed or it's probably depression that I'm experiencing now. Every day I try to be okay but I really can't. Because eventually, I fall back into thinking about all my problems. Every day I cried, prayed, and begged God even to my Dad and Mom who were already in heaven, that hopefully, they would guide me in what I should do. Every day I cry and I tell them that I can no longer bear this life I have entered. I'm very sick and tired of my situation right now. This is not what I dreamed of. This is not what I want my life to be like. I felt like I wanna be free from all of this now.

I Wanna Be Free

I wanna be free from sadness and pain

I wanna be free from this place I get in

Too much stress is killing me inside

But I have nowhere to hide

I wanna rest my mind

Free from all the burdens I feel inside

I don't wanna feel this feeling anymore

This is not what I'm aiming for

I don't deserve all this pain

I regret making wrong decisions again

All I want is to be happy

But why do I always end up with misery?

I wanna be free

I wanna leave in peace

I wanna be happy again

Far from all the burdens that make me insane.

I just recently shared this Poem now too in my noise.cash account. I just wrote this out of the burdens that I felt last night. This is where I express my feelings and thoughts. Every time I'm happy or stressed I always write it through my Poems. Especially when I'm so down I always end up writing Poems out of it. I feel so tired that all can do is write what I feel. I have nowhere else to go. I have no one else to lean on anymore. I felt so alone at this moment. If not with my kids maybe I already give up.

I wanna see the light and be free from this darkness. But the problem is I don't know how to start. I don't know what to do and I don't know where to go as I am all alone now. Mom isn't here anymore to comfort and guide me. Mom isn't here anymore to take me out of this place. I am honestly so damn tired and just hoping that someone could take me out of this dark.

All I can do now is to hope and pray that all the burdens in my heart will go away. I hope and pray that I can see the light so that I can start all over again. I wish I could get out of the world I chose if it can't really be changed anymore. I am too tired of everything but I know I still have some strength left to handle this. I just wish I can still hold on to this strength until I can get out of this dark.

I'm so sorry again for this dramatic post, it's just that I have no one else to talk to about personal struggles in life I just rather write it down to lessen the pain I feel inside. Hope you won't get tired and mad reading my personal struggles in life. Goodnight everyone I'm going back to my own cave now again. Will try to think more clearly to figure out what else should I need to do to get over this Anxiety that keeps attacking me. Have a great night everyone.