My Dad is an Ex-Convict and A Gangster.

Today is my Dad's birthday in heaven. I was just 11yrs old when he passed away. I was in grade 5 at that time. Honestly it's so hard to grew up without a father by your side. It's too hard not having a father defending you with everyone who's trying to hurt/harm you. But then,that's how life is. Maybe God took him early, maybe so that I could also learn to be strong on my own.

Honestly he was an Ex-Convict but I'm not ashamed of that because even though he was bad in the eyes of others, for me he is the best father of all. The time I spent with my Dad was too short. Dad got out of jail when I was only 8yrs old. So if you count, I only had about three years to have the chance to have a father. Well it felt like not even 3yrs because he's not staying on our house in Baguio. He stays everywhere and anywhere,lols.

My mother said that I was only two years old when my father was imprisoned in New Bilibid Prison (Muntinlupa City). I remember back then, when it was said New Bilibid Prison it meant a big crime had been committed by the inmates here. So when I was a child I had a lot of questions in my mind. What crime did my Dad commit to be imprisoned in this place?

My Grandma said before it was my Mom's fault why my Dad got in jail. I don't know what to believe back then co'z Mom left me too there in Baguio City at my Grandma's care (My Dad's Mom). As a child it's so hard for what to believe before, co'z I love my Mom even he left me and Dad when Dad got in jail, and she married someone else here in Manila. I admit sometimes i felt bad with Mom did to us, but I don't know the reasons and the whole story co'z I'm just a child. All i know is I love them both no matter what had happened to us.

This is the only picture I had kept together with my Dad. This was taken in New Bilibid Prison when we visited him with my Grandma. It's sad for me that this is the only the picture i had with him but what can I do. I never had a chance to be with him for long.

My Dad got out of jail when I was in grade 2. I was happy then because somehow I was able to be with him. And you know the feeling that I feel very secure because back then I was really often bullied. But when Dad got out of jail almost everyone there in our place was afraid of him. I don't know why but the people in our area in Baguio are afraid of my him. But then even he got out the jail already, the questions in my mind had never got an answer.

Dad married someone else when I was in grade 3, so my dream of having a complete family will never happen anymore. But well that's life I was destined to have a broken family. 😅

Since Dad married someone else he lives with her new wife. My Step Mom is a kind woman too and accept me also as her child. But the sad part is they never get me to live with them. I was still left at my Grandma's care. He will only visit me very few times. But you know what? Everytime Dad is visiting me in our house in Baguio before, i don't know why he always had a lot of Men together with him. They followed him everywhere. I mean, he always had a lot of Men with him as if he's the boss. Well actually he's really the boss. I had no idea, all I knew is people are afraid of him and those guys who's always with him.

Until the time comes I realized what kind of person my Dad really was. May Dad is a Gangster. He was a member of the Famous Gang in the Philippines back then "Commando Gang". He probably became a member of this Gang inside the prison. And all the way outside he carried this Gang's name.

Dad formed a Commando group in Baguio City and he was their boss. That is why wherever he goes, people knows him and fear him. I have to admit that my Dad was really scary. And he is still always in and out, in Baguio City Jail because of the cases and troubles he is involved in. So in Baguio City, when our last name "Pacleb" was mentioned, my Dad's name was immediately on their minds. But know what? As a child and having a father like him, I'm also feel very secure because no one can bully me anymore because of my Dad.

I remember how my Dad gets mad as fuck when he saw me crying. I was in grade 5 back then. There was a time he suddenly got home and saw me crying at the corner of our house, can't remember if it was my Aunt or Grandma who hit me that time. But when he saw me crying he was super mad and ruin everything in our house. He broke all the plates and glasses in our Dish Dryer, Even the two pumpkins on the table were crushed into pieces when he threw them on the floor. He even threw stone at the electricity meter outside our house. That was the very first time i saw him mad like that. It's like he was possessed by an evil. Because of my fear then I ran away from home. I hid in the court out of fear. Then my Dad followed me. When he saw me he hugged me tightly and then he asked me if I didn't want to be there with my Grandma anymore. And I answered him that I don't want to be there anymore, I wanted to come with him because my Aunt and Grandma used to beat me very often, though I knew I was naughty before so I was always beaten up by them. But Dad didn't want to see me hurt and crying. My Dad never hurt me, even once I didn't get beaten by him. Because with just one look from Dad, I immediately stopped in fear. It's scary because the way my Dad looks at you is like you're going to be eaten alive, lols. So he promised me that he'll make a way to get me out of there once he got a place for us with my stepmom. Co'z they're just living at my Stepmom's house before.

But Dad never fulfilled that promise to me. Because after a few months he suddenly got sick. He got an infection because of the stabbed that he got on his tummy. He got stabbed when one of his Men got involved in a trouble and he tried to protect that guy since he's just young but sadly he was the one who got stabbed. My Dad was so stubborn at that time, he felt like he was too strong, he didn't want to go to the hospital and just took home medicine. Until his stab was infected. That's when he started to weaken and get sick.

December 11, 1999 when he passed away. He died infront of me. It was around 5am when he started vomiting blood already. I can still feel the pain watching your father dying infront of you. All I can do is to cry while their trying to survive him. But he can't make it anymore.

It was so hard to me when he left me. I was just a kid back then. A kid who was waiting for his promised, the promised to get me and live with him. But what can I do. I can't do nothing but to accept that he was gone.

After his death the questions why he got in jail was still there. I was thinking that if he wasn't been in jail maybe he was still with me. Maybe I'll never had a Broken family.

I was already old when I found out everything. I already here with my Mom. Honestly just recently when I ask Mom what did really happen why Dad got in Jail. I know that it was about drugs but I didn't know the exact story of it. And I ask her if it's true that she was the reason why Dad got caught before, then she told me the whole story. Dad got set up by one of his so called "friend" before. Mom said Dad is really a drug Pusher of Marijuana there in Baguio. But the time he was caught by the Police it was just a set up. His friend set him up to send some Marijuana to someone. And Dad didn't know that he was going to send that Drugs into a Police Asset. So there he got caught and got in jail in Baguio City Jail, but when my Dad found out that I was going to have a surgery on my left eye because I had Hemangioma in my left eye and I was only 2 months old then, so he ran away from Baguio City jail because he was afraid that something might happen to me because of that operation. I don't know how he did that (escaping in prison) but that's when he started hiding in law with me and my Mom. Until the court decided and ruled to arrest him Dead or Alive. That's why my Mom got scared so she decided to tell the police where my Dad is. So he was locked up in New Bilibid Prison for 5 yrs because of it.

This site tells everything about my Dad's Case too, lols. Out of curiosity i tried to searched my Dad's Case before co'z I really wanted to know everything about him. So I ended up with this site.

My Dad's Case https://www.chanrobles.com/scdecisions/jurisprudence1993/jan1993/gr_90602_1993.php

But honestly, no matter what else I found out about my Dad's personality. The memories he left me as a Father still prevailed over me. A father who did not want to see his daughter crying or hurting. A father who gets mad/angry and loses his mind when he sees me crying. A Father who did not give me everything but made me feel how much important I am and how much he loves me as his child. A father who protected me when I was still a newly born from that eye operation. Those memories are more important to me than knowing how bad is my father is. No matter what kind of person he is when he's still alive, he will always be the best Father for me.

I am jealous of the people who are still with their fathers but I know that even though he has not been with us for a long time, he is still there to watch over and guide us. And Dad knows how much i missed him and loves him until now.

I Love you so Much Papa, wherever you are you will always be here in my heart. You will always be my Hero. Happy Birthday to you. I missed you and I loved you so much. 😘💕