Being able to see is more than just a privilege. We can see simple and amazing stuffs, beautiful scenic views, witness important events that will stay with us in our lifetime, those memories we can picture in our minds because of this privilege we have. But it is a blessing that we take for granted. We do not appreciate its value until its not there anymore. Until the darkness slowly takes over the light in our eyes.
I'm writing this article to express myself on how I feel about my mom that is recently diagnosed with glaucoma. We discovered it last year. The doctor said that this illness is commonly caused by too much pressure in the eye area or some veins and glands connected in the eyes are clogged. I don't really know that much about it. But in simple words, glaucoma is an illness in the eye that causes an individual to go blind. Dark areas starts to form slowly taking over one's eyesight. And there is no cure for that. Medicines suggested only makes the spread slower, making more time for the patient not to go blind.
Honestly, I didn't know a lot about this illness. I just know the surface information and the fact that my mom will be blind soon. She is now starting to lose her vision in her left eye, seeing only silhouette of lights. Yesterday I saw her refilling condiments in our kitchen in a wrong way, making it directly be thrown in the sink. So I approached her, and she genuinely thought that she was successfully refilling it all. And i took over, seeing her expression change into confusion. Its very heart breaking to see her suffer from that, and I can't even imagine her in that state.
She always have been the strength of our family, the one that guide us all through out our way to life. She dedicated her life doing things for us, for her family. I always imagined the time she watch me grow older and be successful, but now what?
I just really hope that she'll be able to savour every moment and see most of the beautiful things there is.
I can't help myself but to cry because I never imagine that her vision loss will be so soon. And I have not yet proven myself to her. I can't really imagine her not seeing and being able to witness important events in our lives. I can't really express how I feel about it and over thinking is killing me.
I'm thankful that I will have an outlet of my feelings now.
