Indeed, time flies so fast. Time makes us all too old— witnessing how things transform. Our parents would always tell us, if they could only stop the time, they will. Before, it sounds OA for me. Honestly, I laugh when someone notices my changes. I always utter, I do not feel growing up. I was too busy with playing, drawing, doing the chaotic activities a child would always do.
Until those changes hit me so hard.
If there is request that could be granted, I would have wish of not growing up. When I was a kid, I was really afraid of being an adult. My mother told me that time will come and I will step into different phase that will shape my future self. Because of that, I am not happy with birthdays. I hate adding +1 on my age every year. I just want to play forever, to be a Papa's girl, without thinking of any problems.
But that's not how the game of life works.
When I entered middle school, I realized that the old things cannot make me happy anymore— the barbie, the kitchen set, name it all. I felt that I need to let go of these stuffs in order for me to be an adult. I once aimed to dress and act like a grown up. From my style, and to the way I speak seems like I am now ready to enter adulthood. That's what I thought.
But that's not how adulthood starts.
Being an adult is a big responsibility. You have a lot of challenges to face ahead. It feels like you have a heavy bag to carry on— filled with your dreams in life. You need to strive for your own, as if you are in a boat and paddling is the only way to move forward. However shaky the boat will be, you should be firm enough. Trying to balance yourself despite the storms that coming through. You will encounter big waves that will really test your faith. Staying focused and strong enough will surely be the key.
We have different coping mechanism. And I understand how hard it is to find comforting things that will give ease to our sufferings. A life of a human is destined to be like this— experience joy, dramas, sorrows and rainbow after all. Adulthood will be the phase where you will be confused, you will cry a lot, but all of those will teach you how to stand on your own. To be your own anchor, and your savior when you need hands to hold.
Accept it or not, you will be an adult in time. Or maybe while reading this, you have already reached the point where you can call yourself one. I never thought this lesson will keep me moving forward— and that is we should never lose the child's heart inside us. Sometimes, we are being pressured by the things that are thrown to us. We need to accomplish this, we need to fulfill that— and swear, it really is draining. We rarely get happy with what we have, and that is a fact. We often wish for a break from this tiring world. Craving for a peace of mind, a calm heart and a fresh air off from the toxic environment. Imagine, if we are satisfied with the small things, maybe we are little less stressed. If we are appreciative of the gestures and small talks, maybe sunshine will always say hello to us.
Ever thought of giving up? Look back to the days when you were a child. Recall those moments when you are trying to build dreams for your future. Maybe you are now currently struggling— maybe you are not yet there. Maybe you are on the 99th step already— hence, continue. Keep in your mind that you are not just doing it for your present self, but also for the hopeful child you once became. Make him proud, and never despair. Live a life that you know to yourself that will make him happy— and of course, will make you happy as well.
To more write ups,
xx
I have also thought of this when I was little. I have wished to remain a child forever because of those responsibilities an adult will have to face. But the truth is development will occur and we will meet ourselves in another state of life. The best is to keep seeing ourselves as a child and then focus on becoming better than who we were then.