When you were young, do you get along with your siblings? or do you fight most of the time? How about your children now? Do they get along just fine? Or does it seems like World War III is happening in your house when they're near each other? Well, I hope these tips can somehow help you fix that.
Why do siblings fight?
There's a lot of factors as to why siblings fight. It can be because they envy each other, they're jealous of the time and attention that you're giving with their siblings, they felt left out, they felt like you love their siblings more than you love them, they feel like you're always in favor of the other or they feel like you're a being a bit unfair. So here are some tips that I, as a mother of 5, have been practicing as well to stop these siblings 'quarrel.
DO NOT PLAY FAVORITES
They are your children. All of them. So make sure to treat them all fairly. It may be difficult. Costly even. But think of ways on how you can divide everything among them. Your time, attention and even material things. Some older children tend to get jealous with the younger ones as they have our attention most of the time, just explain to them why. Tell them that their younger sister or brother needs us most of the time because they're still young. They can't do things on their own properly yet. Compare to them who's a bit older and can be responsible enough to take care of themselves.
If they fight, do not just scold or punish one. We really don't know what happened and who started it so why just listen to one's complaints. Put them both into time out until they realize what they did wrong and when every one's calmed down then you can explain to them why you punished them both.
RECOGNIZE EACH CHILD
Each child is different. They do have their own talent, own skills and capabilities. DO NOT COMPARE. Make sure that you don't compare them with their siblings as this will make them feel inferior. This will lower their self-esteem and confidence. One child can be good in Math and the other can be good in English. One can be good in academics and the other one can be good in sports. Recognize each of them. Praise and reward them if they did something good if you can. If they need to be better on something, then tell them nicely but do not compare them with their siblings or even with other kids. Encourage them that they can do better if they're feeling down.
BE THERE FOR EACH CHILD
Make sure you spend time for each child. It may not be equal but just have enough time to talk to them, play the games that they really love to play or help them study. Make sure that you are always updated on the things that's been going on with their lives.
You might want to have a heart-to-heart talk as well with them. Ask them what are the things that they love about their siblings. Let them tell a fun time that they spent with their siblings. This somehow reminds them that their siblings are not always annoying. Ask them as well what are the things that their siblings does that annoys them. This will help you keep tabs on their relationship and will help you think of other ways to make their relationship better.
MAKE SURE TO HAVE SOME FAMILY TIME
This is very important. Work can be stressful, household chores can be tiring. But still, make sure to save some family time where you spend time with all of your children. Play some games with them, watch a movie with them. This will not only bring your children together but will also keep you closer to them. This will allow you to see what differences your children has which will help you how to work on it.
These are just a few tips that I've been practicing and will definitely share again with you if I find other tips that I think might work. Just always remember, that sibling rivalry happens because of the way we treat them so we can only fix that if we fix our ways with them.
GOD BLESS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!