Love Month

When February comes to pluck in the calendar the main topic would be the hearts day or the valentines day. Some couples would plan a perfect date in dim candle light with extravagant dinner for two. Teen couples probably made some DIY craft of pictures slid in a box for a surprise with giddly messages of love for their significant half.

As I stare on my computer writing my schedule for this month I ran past through the 14th which landed on Sunday so coincidentally it colored red as because it's always mark red when it's Sunday hahahah . So basically I don't have work on that day and I will be chilling with my son at home also doing laundry and reading a book.

And then it drawn to me "Damn how many valentines has it been that I experienced being special to someone? I don't count but I just realize it's almost a decade since I feel special on Valentines days"

It caught me off guard and stared on blank space. Well, Valentines on our teens and twenties are very much exciting and adventurous, isn't it?

As far as I remember I did have my first love since I'm 16 years old. Since elementary and secondary school my parents are so strict about relationship while studying so after I graduate that's where I got a guy(suitor since 7th grade). He got my pals approval since he's a fine-ass-good-looking-adorable-nice-respectful-man they knew. phew.!

Since then my valentines became adventurous as I say it. It consists of flowers,teddy bears,chocolates,dinner dates, beach walks, night life together, mountain climbing while holding hands(the hardest and don't want to do it again) hahaha. I get to experience being pampered in a special way not the kind way my parents have given me. But the kind way that special person can give to you.

Being a teenage heart I got, I also discover my talents on making love notes, love letters on scrap books, compilation of different memories we both shared together, books we buy and read back hugging each other. I also discover that I can sing our fave love song back then (Superman/Torete) hahahah.
I remember one time I almost didn't get to see his basketball competition because I was lost while reading books and their team is losing. And when I arrived on the fourth quarter the scores roared until the overlap their opponents. That's when I realized my impact on him is quite big that it made my heart leap in joy.

We don't argue a lot for he is always the understanding type and I'm the stubborn one. College days are different for we don't see each other for days because of my part time job and being in the night schedule,while he is one year ahead of me. My class starts at 4 while his class ended at 5. By the time his finished I just started my first period. Still he waits until I finished my class at 6 to another subject.It's the sweetest of him to think of me when his also need to take care of his own issues. We get to have dinner together until my next period and he has to go home before me.By the time my class ends,I see him waiting outside with his lanky Choppy motorcycle to bring me home and safe with my arms hugging him while he drives.Those little conflicts made our relationship stronger for years. And I thought it wouldn't last.

He finish college ahead of me and starting his first hob. The adjustments of our schedules are really hard specially I'm on my senior year still we managed.That's what I thought.

Slowly the love banished. No more sweet words. No more soft sweet gestures. We became strangers to our own feelings. We became apart even if we're sitting together. Then I felt it. The betrayal and the conscience from his eyes. Then I get it. He finds another that replaces my place in his heart and there's nothing I can do anymore to bring it back.

Valentines days became a very stiff days for me. I lost it.