An addictive relationship is one in which one’s happiness and fulfillment depends on the approval of the partner. Such a relationship is unhealthy and it is necessary to change it. Some people are by nature more prone to toxic relationships and choose a person as a life partner to whom they adapt their characteristics and behavior. The constant need to meet other people's expectations and agree to even what is not approved becomes a great burden over time.
These are signs that the relationship is addictive and that changes are needed
Never do what you want
If the need to express an opinion in front of a loved one causes you discomfort, the problem is already in sight. It doesn't have to be an issue of great importance (moving, buying a house), but also some trivial things. Let's say you don't feel like going out, but your partner insists that you go to a cafe. In a healthy relationship, you will make a compromise (you will stay at home, but plan to go out tomorrow). In an addictive relationship, your partner will belittle you by saying that you are boring and antisocial, which will ultimately result in your consent. While this may not seem like a big deal, it is a good indicator that your needs are not appreciated and that the only thing that matters is what the other party wants.
You take responsibility instead of a partner
Caring for a loved one is natural and desirable, but taking responsibility for his actions is not. For example, if your partner drinks, you always remind him that he should not do it, and in case of any problem, you try to solve it yourself. If you have a constant need to justify other people's actions, something is wrong.
You are convinced that you know what your partner needs to do
If you call your partner immature and constantly tell him what he should and shouldn't do, fearing that things will go wrong without your interference, your love affair is addictive. A person who really behaves irresponsibly and immaturely (eg refuses to get a job) will find it difficult to build a healthy relationship with someone.
An addictive relationship is something that many are not aware of
Do things for your partner
Breakfast in bed can be nice, but if you repeat that ritual every morning, trying to please your loved one, you should stop. It is similar with arranging a mess that someone constantly leaves behind because he knows that his partner will clean up after him. Treating a partner as a child leads love in the wrong direction.
You talk about your partner's problems more than your own When your world starts revolving around your partner's family, business or financial problems, the problem already exists. If in conversations you always focus on what is happening to him, and never on what concerns you, the relationship is toxic.
Do nothing without the approval of a loved one Communication and agreement are key when making important life decisions, but you have to make some decisions yourself. If you consult with a partner before you do anything, your relationship is not healthy.
What can you do to overcome the problem?
The sooner you recognize that your relationship is toxic, the easier it will be to improve it. This usually means working on yourself, regardless of whether you are the one who dictates the rules or blindly follows them. In any case, find time to dedicate exclusively to yourself. Remember everything that gives you pleasure, and that does not imply the presence of a partner. It takes a lot of honesty and openness to see things realistically. Whether you will be able to build a healthier relationship depends on your willingness to work on overcoming the problem. If one of you does not want to change, the relationship is doomed.
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