i am not wearing a bra. i am not a virgin anymore. i fucked for like five times already. i have a girlfriend. i am gay. i am usually up at night anxious about the idea of opening this up. i am caught up in the idea that i am obligated to report what is happening on my skin. but i have come to realize i do not owe anyone any piece of information about this body.
coming out has become a part for most of the people who belongs to the "sexual orientation minorities". it puts up a notion that these people had to publicize their sexual orientatiosn, or if not (since usually they are already out in their social media accounts) come out to their families (who by the way encourages the idea of honesty and autonomy, but only in selective aspects). for some, it was succesful. but for most cases, they were told to shut up and never let anyone know this because it is a shame. for worst cases, they get slapped. punched. despised.
and days before coming out, this person had to go through struggling for his or her emotional and mental health. distress. anxiety. only to end up being invalidated.
but i don't think someone's obliged to come out. or even to label his or her sexual orientation. we do not owe anyone any piece of information about this body, especially those that are intimate. we do not have to justify who we get attracted to. we do not have to go through sleepless nights wondering if people would finally give us that sense of belongingness.
my point is that, that sense of belongingness is a social construct. it has been put up to compartmentalize people, as if categories are too distinct that they have to be exclusive. as if being gay is integers apart from being straight. the thing is we don't need to find that belongingness because there are shouldn't be groups to belong to in the first place. being human does not need categories. because coming out implies that you are not normal. that you do not follow what is normal. but why do we have to choose what is normal and what is not when people love and that's it. people get attracted and they don't need validation for that. it's a decision you make for your body. that's autonomy. and autonomy is what empowers people more.
because at the end of the day, even when people accept you after coming out, they still end up making your sexual orientation a personality. people take advantage of you coming out because you are a minority. the dominant sexual orientation never comes out. it's normal. why should they?
let religion say what it wants to say. let society say what it wants to say. but you should never feel obliged to make up for their made-up standards.