I looked for the tired lines of years in the photographs

I'm sorry I have excuses.

For finding you on a distant phone after all these years.

Life continues to carry little surprises in its pockets.

I'd forgotten.

Why did my voice tremble when I heard your name?

The first time I saw you is as vivid in my memory as that day.

The first day I came to school, it was as if you were the only one in the classroom.

My eyes separated you from all the people around you.

When I was perhaps a little foolish with excitement, when my cheeks were flushed like the cheeks of a highland girl; how you pulled me together. It was the first time I felt grateful to you. And it was a time that had an impact on my inability to leave you behind.

I remember your dimples that gave themselves away with your smile the most. Every time I tried to forget what had happened, your dimples were the first thing that came to my mind.

Before a trip, it was as if you were the last one to come to worry me alone. You didn't realize it, but the moment you got on the bus that day, I got dimples too, which only appeared in my huge happiness.

Every evening was filled with the excitement of seeing you the next day. One by one, I would arrange my clothes to wear, my jewelry to wear.

What made it possible for me to live in my humble room, which consisted of a sofa bed, a stove and a table, was my dreams that you filled every square inch of it.

I should have gone to bed before everyone else, and the time in places where you weren't there should have gone by faster. I wanted it to be so, but it wouldn't be so. Those nights would get longer and longer. The day would never dawn, my ordeal would never end. I fit the biggest time of my life into those nights.

My eyes would drift in and out of those sleepless nights. Which of our moments

in your dreams you brew my nights, of which dreams

I used to console my days with its shadow.

In the morning, I would get up even earlier than the swallows that nested in front of my house.

I would take my worries and get out of my house before they stopped their fussing.

Never again in my life did I go to school with such enthusiasm.

I never again felt my wings so free.

I would undoubtedly be the first one to enter the classroom and you would probably be the first one to follow me.

We would stand in front of the heating radiators and watch the tiny happiness of the sparrows nesting in the arms of the pines in the garden.

Maybe we would envy their happy life, maybe we would shudder, afraid to take the responsibility of building such a nest.

I don't know what we talked about in those moments, I only remember our timidity and happiness.

We always saved.

How much time have we melted in the embrace of the two of us, hidden behind our silences?

How many sentences inside us on those little bird wings

winged far away from us, turned into silences and found us again?

In her photographs, I looked for the lines left on her face by the years, the tired lines down to her dimples. There were none. Obviously the years haven't tormented you the way they tormented me.

Amazing! You're still alone. You still watch the nesting sparrows with love but fear.

However, people multiply like sparrows. Maybe it was the fact that they multiplied by diminishing and diminishing that frightened you.

With you, even watching an autumn leaf fall to the ground would turn into a unique time.

You used to say that the poppies along the road looked shyly at us, but it was you who was caught with shy looks on the poppies.

Wherever you were, spring flowers would appear. I would have suns ready to be born, and midwives wrapping my sky.

My seasons were destined for you.

It was a spring day when plum trees turned into brides. I was sitting with you under our favorite tree, sharing silence again.

Your hands reached softly for mine but didn't dare to weave. I laughed at your timidity that day. But I loved your timidity at the same time.

I loved the moments when our coffee smells mingled with each other during lunch breaks the most. Their meeting was a symbol of unity. They found the courage to do what our hands could not do.

Life is full of surprises, human beings are full of mistakes.

How I didn't realize that there would never be a moment of my time ever again.

I find it hard to understand. I mean, the way time wipes the slate clean as if nothing happened. Everything turned upside down, roads leading to unexpected hands, doors opening to completely different gardens.

Now that you're so far beyond my time, what's the point of finding your voice again? Even if your hands reach out, I'm too far away to hold on.

This won't be left unfinished," the song says. However, there are so many things left unfinished in our lives. It's obvious that they can never be completed. And most of all, it's because it's unfinished like this that the memories can't be erased.

You were the first time I bloomed in spring.

You were the first time I threw myself into the abyss.

I get it.

Life is when we break the thick ice hanging from the eaves.

Stealing plums by the glass without permission.