Why do people keep disappointing me? Why do other people treat you this way, even if I put it all out? Many people ask these questions to themselves and feel tired and unhappy while looking for answers. If you keep feeling this way, sometimes you stop and stop trying to understand others because whatever you do, that disappointment continues to occur.
While you may believe that time will make you forget about your frustrations, it doesn't actually work that way. Disappointments leave a mark in your life. Some people deal with frustration better than others and overcome it quickly. However, other people continue to be deeply affected by the emotions that consume them for years.
What causes this kind of disappointment? Are people generally bad when it comes to relationships? Are you too selfish or do you trust people more than necessary?
Reasons why people constantly disappoint you
Each individual has their own values, perspective of the world, understanding of love, respect and friendship. Even something as basic and seemingly universal as common sense can vary from person to person. Therefore, not everyone will agree with 100% of the standards and perspective you have. No one in the world can fully share your perspective on life.
Even if you know all this, you still expect understanding from your environment. At least your expectation of trust and honesty does not change. Unfortunately, sometimes these expectations cannot be met. As a result, everyone experiences some degree of disappointment in their life. This is the way the world and human relations progress. While many people cope with this situation quite well (often rarely), others seem to face disappointment over and over again in their lives.
Trusting: Hypocrisy is a natural behavior of the human mind
If you want to steer your relationships a little better, try not to blindly trust everyone you meet. Evolutionary psychologist Robert Kurzban explains something very interesting in his book Why Everyone (Else) Is a Hypocrite: Evolution and the Modular Mind:
Part of the mind has its own values and ideological ideas. However, another part of the mind is specially designed to seduce people. You want people to love you, to adapt to you, to be friends with you, and to attract people you care about in a simple way. You wouldn't be afraid to tell white lies or be a little hypocritical to get those desires.
As your relationship with these people deepens, so does your true character. You may discover that the person you think you know actually shares no value.
As a precaution, be wary of people you just met. Don't trust people for a while until you get to know them. Observe, especially, how people you've just met treat things that seem trivial in appearance.
Disappointment and high expectations
As William Shakespeare said, the source of all heartache is actually anticipation. So you keep asking yourself why people always disappoint you, you probably need to take a closer look at yourself. What kind of expectations do you have from others, have you ever questioned?
We do not claim that the whole problem is with you, but you have to do this query first to protect yourself. Adjusting your expectations can have a significant positive impact on your life. If you stop waiting for others to do exactly what you want, you'll be happier in the end.
Bias towards painful relationships
Some people tend to form romantic relationships or friendships with personalities that tend to hurt themselves. For example, men and women with high empathy (classic Wendy syndrome: the need to look after others and feel helpful) often relate to people with narcissistic personalities.
Don't worry, it's just that you don't experience this, it's actually a very common thing. Your personality type tends to seek out the type of person who brings out what's worse than you. This may be because you have low self-esteem or that this person is making you feel that your needs are not being met. People who experience this condition often do not understand what is happening until they suddenly become aware of the manipulation and deception.
Disappointment: You will never fully get back what you gave
Reciprocity means getting exactly what you give. But assuming that this is an absolute truth can cause a lot of pain and sadness over time. You are not alone, most people expect to get back exactly what they put forth or gave.
But one thing to remember is that relationships are not business transactions that are bought and sold. If you're constantly asking yourself why people disappoint you, perhaps you may need to change your understanding of the reciprocity and your perception of it.
The response is above all allowing you to receive what others have given you and to enjoy whatever you buy. This is a completely free, free action. Every individual is free to decide what he wants to give and how to give.
For example, you may have a friend who does not reply to your messages the way you want. However, this friend is always with you in difficult situations. Therefore, it would be best for you to take a more comfortable approach in your close relationships. You should not try to measure everything you give and receive while in a relationship. If you keep doing this you will be constantly disappointed.
Consequently, it is very important to recognize that disappointments are a part of life. You can also simply lower your expectations and be a little more careful about who you trust. Remember that prudence is always the best way out under all circumstances.
