Do you believe you cannot be happy if you are not highly gifted, highly desirable, rich, and super imaginative? Yet, are your standards impossible to satisfy? You expect the worst scenario of what may happen and obsess about it. Yes, fear can be a form of self-doubt and self-criticism, especially when you fear incessantly about personal failure and the embarrassment that you expect.
Self-critical individuals are deeply scared of failure and rejection, feel a lot of embarrassment, and prioritize achievement over the social connection; they have a hard time forming close relationships.
Self-critical people often stress self-assertion, as it may lead to rejection. If you speak your mind, state your needs or ask for what you want, there is always a chance you will be rejected. And that can hurt. This is just life! If asking for help is major suffering for you, then you may be self-critical, afraid of appearing weak or incapable. Why would you be afraid of appearing less than just because you need help? Chances are, under the surface, you're criticizing yourself. How often and how long do you think about the mistakes you’ve made? Do you invest huge time and energy in analyzing what went wrong and how you are responsible for it? If you analyze mistakes past the point of learning something important, then you're probably punishing yourself unnecessarily. Instead of saying, "This was the wrong way to do that, next time I might try…" you tend to lessen yourself with, "I am a failure." You do not focus on the behavior that caused the problem and what can be improved. Rather, you have negative thoughts about your attitude and destroy your dignity in general.
For some people, various forms of self-critical are self-harm serves as a release of emotional pain. In many cases, the emotional pain has roots in self-criticism. Have you been treated with negative criticism by one or both of your parents, friends, relatives? If so, you may have understood those messages and developed your emotional pain.
Self-criticism is a character trait, which means that some people tend to be very hard on themselves whereas others are less so. But, we all fall somewhere along the continuum.
You can't accept compliments when someone says something nice about you, do you feel you deserve it? Do tend you to avoid compliments with self-deprecation? If so, you may be favoring a self-critical view of yourself. Hint: When someone compliments you, it's OK to reply with a simple 'thank you'. Perhaps you have problems with your physical appearance that you can't let go of. Interestingly, this issue can afflict people of all shapes and sizes. It has little to do with how you appear, and more to do with how you see yourself. If you never look good enough in your own eyes, you're committed to self-criticism. You don’t see a reason to improve your self-esteem with positive messages like I am good. I can do it. I can handle this. For some of us, talking to ourselves positively may even seem odd or absurd. This is a sign of chronic self-criticism.
A classic indication of chronic self-criticism is underperformance. You tell yourself you are going to fail, because it happens every time, right? Therefore, you end up certain that the safest course of action is no action at all. After years of doing less than your best, you may look around and be dissatisfied at how far you've gotten in life. If this isn't a call to deal with your tendency to self-criticize, nothing is!
Self-criticism leads to many negative consequences:
Experience limited positive emotions and additional negative emotions day-to-day
Are more likely to become unhappy and to develop several other forms of mental illness such as eating disorder and anxiety disorders; and
Cope with problems in their life in an avoidant, less productive way, for example by separating from others when they’re upset instead of seeking out assistance.
If you do not accept that there are many values between the extremes, everything is either good or bad. Setting fundamental ideals leads you to avoid partial accomplishments and give yourself credit for smaller accomplishments.