As an avid novel reader, wattpad, cnovel, jnovel and knovel, kung ano man yang nobelang yan na may english translation na nakapukaw ng atensyon ko, babasahin ko yan! sobrang hilig kong magbasa at dahil sa pagbabasang iyon, nakacome up ako ng aking ideal man.
Possessive, devoted and only has me in his eyes. yun lang wala na akong hihingiin pa, promise ni-hindi ko hiniling na maging gwapo siya, basta wag lang akong lokohin at magkaroon ng ibang babae masaya na ako.
Kung hindi ko pa nakukwento sainyo, I have cards, not the simple cards tho pero yung cards na ginagamit sa panghuhula, tarot cards kung tawagin nila. binili ko lang ito just for fun pero nung ginamit ko siya para hulaan yung sarili ko in the future, I dunno if it's a coincidence but 3 times in 3 different days I got the two same cards which is Queen of Swords and Two of Wands, yung una, hindi ko nagustuhan yung lumabas sa readings ko, so inulit ko ulit siya, then nung parehas yung lumabas up until the third time sumuko na ako and accepted it, tho nag-iiba yung lumalabas na pangatlong card, iisa parin ang reading nung tatlong card na lumabas. there are different interpretation for this pero kung pagsasamahin mo yung tatlong cards na makukuha you'll come up with a conclusion. nakalimutan ko na yung mga pangatlong card na lumalabas dahil matagal na rin yun at hindi ko na ulit hinulaan yung sarili ko.
My reading for the future is that I needed to choose between two things for my future, yung una I can have all the luxury in this world (I think it's a metaphor for having a very successful life) but I have to be alone if I choose this, kung pipiliin ko naman yung isa I'll have a partner pero we'll just end up hurting one another, magkakaroon ng betrayal, ang nasa isip ko dito baka magkakaroon ng third party eh basta it's a very painful path hindi ko masyadong maintindihan ito sa simula, I'll also never have a child for the queen of swords implies sterility and independence.
Syempre if we are talking about decision making na kailangan sa 2 of wands card, as a person na never pang naiinlove, never nagkajowa and so on and so forth, may napili na agad ako and that is to be alone, nakaya ko ngang mag-isa sa buong 21 years ng buhay ko eh, hindi ko naman kailangan ng jowa lalo na kung ang ending ay sakit lang rin. so I come up with that decision.
then yesterday night, before going to bed, I prayed (I think nakwento ko sainyo na almost 90% ng hinihiling ko nagkakatotoo, I dare not say 100% dahil may times din naman na hindi nagkakatotoo yung hiling ko)
That night I prayed na since hindi ko naman makikilala yung lalaking nakatadhana sakin this life, let me meet him in my dream, ilang beses kong inulit ulit yun hanggang sa nakatulog ako. katulad ng sinabi ko sa simula tatlo lang yung requirements ko sa isang lalaki, I'm not really that picky. and also it's been 6-7 months since I had a dream, I forgot basta matagal na simula nung nanaginip ako.
Bago ako nakatulog, iniisip ko pa yung magiging pagkikita namin, like the typical novelish scenario, na magkakabunggoan or makikilala sa common friend ganun, then hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako.
I opened my eyes and saw that I'm inside a closed room with no windows and the door is locked, yung locked na passcode, I'm not aware na panaginip lang iyon that time, na parang ako talaga yung babae dun. Nung bumukas yung pinto dama ko yung panginginig ng buong katawan ko, hindi ko alam nung time na yun kung bakit ako nanginginig pero nung nangyari yung mga sumunod na kaganapan, I realized that I'm a prisoner, not a jail prisoner but like a caged canary. a man with a blurry masked face entered and caressed my face, I forgot the other scenario, kung may sinabi ba siya or what but I remembered that he forced me or rather raped me tapos kapag pilit akong tumitingin sa mukha niya, nagagalit siya at sinasabi na wag akong tumingin something like that, tapos iyak ako ng iyak, gustong gusto kong tumakas yun lang yung laman ng isip ko, but the door cannot be opened without the passcode, mapalabas man o sa loob. I also remembered na dinala niya rin yung bunso kong kapatid kung nasaan ako so that I won't feel alone kapag kailangan niyang umalis. I thought that he'll also forced my sister to bed but he never did pero yun ang isa sa pinakakinatatakutan ko. he also asked me if gusto ko daw ba na magkasama kami sa kwarto o magkahiwalay, ofcourse pinili ko yung different rooms at kasama yung kapatid ko, overall lahat tinatanong niya sakin or kailangan ng approval ko aside from going out. actually that time hindi ko naisip yun, sa panaginip ko ang bukambibig at isip ko lang ay makatakas, nung nagising ako tsaka ko lang naanalyze lahat ng mga pangyayari. May isang time din na nakalabas ako, I said I wanted to eat fast food hindi ko alam paano ko napapayag yung lalaking yun na palabasin ako pero hindi ko naisip na tumakas that time dahil nasa kamay niya yung kapatid ko, but I did think of asking for help, I went to Jollibee at umorder ng takeout and mayroon akong nakita dun sa counter na paper and pen na ginagamit kapag kumukuha ng order, I wrote SOS and my number to track my gps, tapos nakita yun nung manager nung fast food at gusto niyang iabot ko sakanya yung paper, dun ko narealize na isa yung manager sa mga tauhan nung lalaking nagkulong sakin. anyways nakalimutan ko na yung ibang happenings yun lang yung naaalala ko, at nung nagising ako grabe talaga yung tibok ng puso ko, nakalimutan ko nga yung hiniling ko bago ako makatulog eh, kabadong kabado ako, nung kumalma lang ako tsaka ko inanalyze yung panaginip ko at kung paano ako nanaginip ng ganoon.
Anyways that's it for my weird dream, I know it's boring but it's also creepy at the same time.
