Birthdays are a happy time, an annual chance for life to be celebrated. But when a loved one isn't with us anymore, the reminder can be painful. Today, with great joy, a day we once awaited sparks a sense of anxiety and the waking of a broken heart. Is that special day possible to redeem? Do you change it from a day of mourning to a day of happiness?
King David, the great one, was a man of war. In his life, he suffered many defeats, and yet he wrote this psalm of thanksgiving to God. "You have made my lament into a dance; you have taken away my sacks and clothed me with joy," Psalm 30:11 CSB. If these words could be spoken by the Psalmist, certainly we can!
My mother was the master of many things, but her brown thumb was exceptional. Once, a friend named our house "death row for plants." Whether they were doomed by too little or too much care, the result was always the same-a pot full of dried soil where there had once been some promising life form. Then, one day, for her birthday, a friend gave her an African violet. Mom gushed about it, but she must have been visualizing her death already. She sat at the table in the middle of the dining room and gave a close hug to her unsuspicious mate.
We didn't think much of the African violet until one day, to the happy surprise of all, we realized it had survived, not only a month or six months, but a whole year. Mom couldn't believe it and we couldn't believe it either. Soon, everywhere, on the window seat, over the sink, were African violets, and unlike before, they all seemed to be doing well.
Less than a year ago, Mum left us. When we felt an extra punch to the gut when that certain day in August rolled around just a few weeks later, there was already plenty of "missing" going on among her nine children. It was hurting! But we wondered, could we find a way to bring back any hope that day? Depriving it of its ability to unleash this kind of sadness? We figured we could, maybe.
It's not easy to compromise on something for nine people, but eventually, we decided on what we'd do. Each of us will buy, pot, and gift an African violet to someone we feel could use an inspiring boost as the months pass and that next birthday comes into view. Every violet will include this Psalm 90:14 CSB prayer, "Satisfy us with your faithful love in the morning so that we can shout with joy and be happy all our days."
Are you getting close to what could be a tough birthday for you? If so, then why not look for a special way of remembering your loved one? It doesn't have to be a wonderful gesture or something that's going to break the bank. To remember and honor our mother, my family settled down on sweet little plants with pink and violet flowers. To get your imagination going, here are some ideas:
» Share the story and images of your loved one on Facebook, with a friend, or with a younger family member.
» Organize a senior workday in your neighborhood.
» Respect your loved one by offering in his or her name a small scholarship.
Volunteer for a cause that will be beneficial to your loved one.
No matter what significant activity you want, remember to do something for yourself, too. Include some mild indulgence and as much laughter as humanly possible in your day. Remember, above all, to lean toward Jesus, whose comfort is like no other.
One more clue. Send that person a fast, encouraging "Praying for You" Ecard if you know someone who is approaching a difficult birthday. And, via social media or directly emailing them, share this article with them (see icons).
In search of more inspiration? Have a look at these related articles:
When "Praying for You" is hard to say (or hear)
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