12

12.

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Entry no. 1: Adam's first diary.

It's the cold night of winter of 1996 and, I'm here embracing solitude inside my tiny bedroom. I'm writing these down to commemorate the death of my mother and father. Being the only heir to our business empire, I'm under a lot of pressure to do what I am supposed to do. It's hard to balance your wants and needs with your own parents' demand for what they planned you to be.

So today, this very evening, I've decided that I shall take my own life even if it's my birthday tomorrow. Being a kid who's smart enough to know what my future will be, a painful and unpleasant journey to the road of puberty throughout adulthood is not what I want to live my life. I want something that's going to make my life full of joy and satisfaction. Everything I do is through passion and love. But you can never relinquish the void and discomfort your parents gave you.

--

I took a deep breath before punching in a second paragraph. The thought of suicide isn't normal for a 12-year-old kid like me, and it's absurd because kids my age should enjoy childhood and the gist of it.

I went downstairs to get a cup of water, and as expected, there they are, my parents. Struggling to find a better spot to build another branch of their company. "Hey, mom, hey dad." I greeted them casually. "Oh, hey, Adam." They responded. "Dinner is on the fridge, and we're going on a late-night business trip again." Mom said. I just smiled faintly and went to the fridge, only to find a handful of fast food meals. It's been a long time since I've tasted my mother's cooking. I grabbed it all and sat with them at the dining table. Slowly eating the cold and unhealthy food while they're just conversing all about business and construction while I'm only here trying to strike a conversation with them but to no avail. I got disappointed that they're not even excited about my birthday "Honey, let's go. The contractors are waiting." My dad announced. My mom smiled, "I see, we'll be back before midnight, Adam, be sure to lock the doors and windows." She sincerely said, kissing my forehead. They left the house as soon as I bid them goodbye and waved at them before they drove downtown. I heaved a deep sigh.

I locked the doors and windows before proceeding to the basement to get some rope. "The most basic of them all," I murmured, grabbing the rope, then realized that I don't know how to tie a hangman's knot. I got so frustrated that I almost shouted at the top of my lungs. Nevertheless, I guess I'm going for the painful one.  A knife, but it's too painful to bear. I started to breakdown, and accidentally shook one of the shelves at my right "Ouch!"  and saw a notebook fall from the top. It was my mom's diary.

I didn't dare open it because a friend of mine told me that I would be cursed to death once you read a diary of someone without their permission. A painful death than a knife, I reckon. I hurriedly went to my bedroom and contemplated if I should open her diary or not. I lay down and stared blankly at the ceiling for hours and have finally decided that I should read it. I guess ending my life this way won't hurt once I know the contents of this. As I opened her diary, the first pages were from when I was born. I can't contain my tears as I saw the entries she wrote.

--

Entry: Adam's first birthday

"Our purpose started with you."

Entry: Financial Crisis

"Adam, let you know that we're doing our best to keep us all together; I'm sorry if we didn't have too much time to bond with you and pressured you frequently but, this for the greater good, baby. We love you. We can get through this. "

Entry: Forever

"I can hear him crying in his bedroom late at night, and we want to make it up to him sooner or later; we're going to buy a special cake for his 13th birthday and give him a surprise he deserves. We love you, Adam. We will always be here forever.

--

I cried hard, and I never thought that they would care about my well being. I realized that this is just another trial set upon me. I need to be strong for my parents for us.  "I'M SORRY, MOM!" "I'M SORRY, DAD!" I cried out loud till I eventually fell asleep in my bed.

I woke up with high hopes to meet my parents' surprise, but the only surprise I got was their death. Late-night they drove across a ravine when a drunk driver of a truck crashed through them and killed both of them, said the officers. So much for my birthday. I was devastated by the news, and I don't know what to do about my life anymore. I read again my mom's entry about forever and decided to write more entries.

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Entry no. 2

MOM!!!!!  DAD!!! I'm SORRY!! I KNOW YOU'RE ALL STILL ALIVE!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!  Forever REMEMBER?!!!!! I'm SORRY!!!!!   I NEED YOU!!!!!

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END.

-Marcmire