My childhood years were very long for me, or so it seemed to me. A few years of my childhood almost corresponds to 20-30 years of my teenage years. There is no step I took in my childhood that did not leave a deep wound in my heart! When I was a kid, Saturdays were my movie days. For seven days I looked forward to that moment coming. Every time I go, my mother and father, who are as hard as a wall away from understanding me, come up to me: “What cinema?” they would say. They would extinguish my hopes, which I had cherished for a week, in one fell swoop. “Why would you pay for the cinema?” The thought drove me crazy. I couldn't see any sign in his eyes that would understand my love for cinema. For them, the cinema was a place for empty, unemployed, light people. I was twelve. My classmates and I were planning to go to the movies on Saturday. I was among those who promised to watch.
I tried to get my mother used to this situation from Monday to go to the movie. My mother didn't make a sound at first. Every day, I tirelessly reminded my mother. And the expected day had come. That day was like a feast day for me. I dressed, stood in front of my mother, and said with a semi-hesitant feeling: "I'm going to the movies, mom!" I said. Again, I was faced with the answer that I was used to before but was not ready for that moment: “No way!” said an authoritative voice. Insistently: “I'm going mom!” I was replying. He said: "We have work, you can't go!" ' he cried in high pitch. For a moment, I felt like my whole world was on fire. My eyes darkened, I felt all my emotions burning as if I had poured gasoline on me. I ran back to my little room and shed tears of silent screams into my heart until the evening. I didn't want to talk to my mother for a long time. I didn't want to hear or do any household chores.
I went to bed early and tried to sleep. For weeks, my anger did not go away. I could not forget these days for many years. Was it so impossible for my parents to understand what I wanted to do? We used to play football matches again in our childhood. Neither our shoes nor our trousers could withstand that vicious child we carry in our hearts. I had a friend who was 13-14 years old. He used to play football very well. A professional team coach wanted to recruit him. Father: “My child cannot be a gunner.” they did not allow him to play ball, even though whoever intervened. Whenever my cousins came to us from home, we used to go to the movies comfortably without needing permission. Some days we would go to see two movies at once. I used to go home to go to the cinema. In my hometown, I used to watch movies without any problems, without being threatened, without being humiliated. In the hot days of summer, our happiest occupation was going to the summer cinema at night. We would either buy soda or beans.
The most exciting part of the job was when we went to school, a friendship developed between the people who watched the movie and the movie was criticised. Those who did not go to the cinema that week would stand in a corner as if they had committed a crime, like children who did not do their homework. Those who went to the cinema used to flirt with those who did not go to the movies. When my parents didn't send me to the movies, they didn't even realize that they were making me feel bad among my friends.
I didn't expect them to understand me anymore. Because there was nothing left to talk about between us, after all the resentment, I came home quietly and went to my room. Perhaps the most difficult aspect of childhood is the lack of will and money. The best thing about growing up is that no one interferes with you.
