That day was my first day of college. After crossing the boundaries of school, this is a strange freedom for me, only for me, I think it is true for many. Somewhere in my mind I felt like I was big. I was quite nervous at first. New places, new friends, new habits - everything is new. There was a fear in my mind about how much I could adapt to all this, whether I could adapt at all.
College days
After going to college for the first two days, it seemed that the school, the school friends, the environment there was much better than that - because in the blink of an eye those days were over - I thought and sighed. Then I gradually realized when my disgust with these things was gone and I didn't even realize that I hadn't adapted myself to all those things, that all those things had adapted to me, or that adaptation was from both sides. .
College days
I remember one winter morning in my first year of college, sitting in the college canteen enjoying the sweetness of the tea with the sweetness of the sun coming through the window. It is a quarter to nine. Rabindra Sangeet in the canteen took me to a world of deep thought that winter morning, my gaze on the outside. Suddenly I felt a cold thing on the table holding my hand and shaking it a few times. The world of that thought merged in an instant, I turned my face in surprise and saw Parmita standing beside me trembling.
Oh, let me introduce you to Permita. Parmita is a classmate of mine and a sincere student, somewhat serious, we don't talk much with her but we would go to her if she needed any help with reading. I immediately removed my hand and said, "How cold is your hand! Boss boss chair, can I have some tea or coffee for you? "No, no, I came with an order," he said, trembling, pulling up a chair and sitting down. I was a little surprised to see him come to talk to me. Then he began to say, "Today the nine o'clock lecture class has been canceled, no one has told me… how many mornings I have to leave the house in the winter…". Parmita's house is about a two-hour bus ride from the college. I said, "Yes, no one told me, I came and heard." ”
Then both of them were silent for a minute. I didn't understand what else to talk to him about, he was a good student, would he be interested in anything but studies? What an inconvenience. Meanwhile, Permita's tea arrived at the table. I sipped my cup again. After the first sip of tea, Parmita said, "Ramuda makes tea, but isn't it, sir?" The word "Ghama" was used by us ordinary students. However, after hearing the word ‘sweat’ on his face, the discomfort of talking to him decreased a little. I shook my head and said, "Really, that's what you said." Then his first tea-making experience, the bitter taste of that tea, where to find good tea, where to make good coffee, we need to spread the value of Ramudar tea all over the world - in thousands of words, we both had so much fun joking that when the next lecture I didn't even notice that the class was over and the next practical class had started.
When I suddenly noticed, they both ran out of the canteen. Then the teacher of that practical class insulted us by using very elegant words in front of everyone and then both of them started burning inside, although later we laughed a lot thinking that. In this way, after some minor incidents, my friendship with Permita gradually developed. A few others like Anbesha, Papia, none of them could escape the attraction of Permita's friendship. Chatting together, often scolding teachers for being late to class, hundreds of attempts to make someone laugh when they are upset, walking around when college is over, scolding parents for being late to return home, finally trying to pass every exam by studying - All in all, not only mine but the lives of all four of us were fulfilled.
College days
For the last two years of college, Parmita and I shared a room in the hostel. I also gained some sincerity due to Permita's friendship, and that's why in Permita's absence some of my classmates would occasionally come to me to take class notes and read. I had a strange pleasure in explaining to them the subject of small reading. In this way, I have to read more, I have to know more, I have to be more sincere - the intoxication of all these has taken root in my brain. A huge change came in me. I understood, but I was enjoying it at the same time. Gradually everyone in college started recognizing me and little by little I started to lose my own ‘I’.
College days
I don't know why I was more interested in studying and discussing career issues with the rest of my classmates than spending time with them in the end. In this way my monogamy was created with the parameters, I thought they understood that they were not looking at my progress well. I haven't spoken to them in the last two months, not even in the same room with Permita. The four of us would no longer hang out together in the canteen, share any joys and sorrows in the unnecessary book, and I would not miss the class, I would no longer gossip with the teacher with them.
I was proud of my parents and school teachers, and I had only one dream - to achieve more and more. On the last day of college, Parmita, Anbesha, Papia did not meet me, because I was in the teachers' room then to say goodbye to the teachers and collect their blessings. Back at the hostel, I saw that Parmita had packed all her belongings and left. I don't know why I felt bad not seeing him on the last day of college. However, I also packed my things and went to check the room again and saw that there was a diary under Permita's bed. Probably a factor as to why they're doing so poorly. I never gave up the urge to read someone else's diary. After packing everything and leaving the hostel and returning home by taxi, I started reading his diary. I came to know a lot of things which I did not know even after regular visits. His real home is Jalpaiguri. After the death of her parents in a car accident at the same time, ten-year-old Parmita became a man in Calcutta with her elder brother. I also saw some heartbreaking poems in the middle few pages… .I think it was written by him… .I was also unaware of his quality. I saw on a page that there are some parts written about me, I pointed it out directly -
College days
"I thought that there was nothing I could do but study and that I could spend the rest of my life forgetting the pain of losing my parents." I was completely alone, it was hard to accept my loneliness, I could not find anyone to share this pain without studying. After coming to college, I used to see Mrs., Anbesha, Papia and a few others to talk to everyone, to laugh a lot, to have fun, to study a little, to put aside all sorrows and enjoy my life openly. Mrs. is my first friend in college. The first time I started chatting with him, gossiping with teachers, attending college, taking my first breath of new life was in his hands - that's why he seemed the closest to me. If I was with them, I would feel alone. Today time has come a long way.
A lot of things have been stuck in my mind for the last few months due to the lack of a single opportunity to tell my lady. I was waiting. But that hand of friendship, I never found that old lady again. Anbesha, I also heard that Papia has joined another group. And I fell alone again like before. I heard that nothing lasts forever, everything is temporary - just like maybe my loneliness, my joy আনন্দ .. "
College days
I closed the diary. Anger is on yourself. I asked myself, did my studies not only give me success but also made me really happy by being isolated from everyone? I just ran away in the greed of getting good marks in exams, in the hope of being a compelled student to my parents and teachers, in the addiction of going too far alone ছিলাম. I forgot that studies, career are all a part of life. In addition to studies, there are many other small worlds where there is no fear of pass-fail, defeat-victory, there is some madness, some chance to know oneself, some desire to live with everyone, and some cannot be explained. Today I have gone so far from those with whom I started my college life, with whom I share my personal affairs, my joys and sorrows, to sleep peacefully every night, with whom the time I have spent has made my true college memories, today I will get back to the same place. No more. Tears came to my eyes.
College days
I wiped my eyes and instructed the driver to take a taxi to Permita's Kolkata address written on the very first page of the diary. After searching for about an hour, I finally came to Permita's house. As soon as the bell rang, Parmita opened the door and stood in front of me in surprise. I returned the diary and couldn't say anything but 'Sorry'. Then we both hugged each other and just started crying silently.
College days
Very nice