It's never enough
If you ever find yourself drowning in an ocean of fear, doubt and uncertainty, you will definitely realize what I am talking about. Otherwise, you will just have to read between the lines and try to understand what it is that makes me want to share this message with you. And even though I can provide a few tips and insights into my train of thought, you will not be able to grasp this unless you walk in those shoes and get first-hand experience of this predicament.
Human nature is flawed and vulnerable, and this explains perfectly why we have been around for less than three seconds on this planet of ours if we scale its age down to one single day. Irrelavant and unimportant, trivial with no real purpose other than to just experience life and learn from the mistakes we will inevitably make along the way. Even if we do find the courage to learn from them, we won't manage to find the strength to get over the consequences that come tied to them. And so we choose to run away, as it has always been easier to do so.
Caught up in an endless cycle of greed, hunger and satisfaction, we often wonder what it is that makes everything change according to our emotions, and I still have no answer. Just like I cannot find an explanation as to why it is relatively easy to fall in an endless loop of addiction, and slowly but gradually become a puppet to my primal instincts and desires. Even though I am in a position to observe and write about it, I still don't seem to be able to control myself. Condemned to keep on and on and on.
Never enough
No matter how much I can get my hands on, I always crave for more and more and more. It is an endless cycle I can't seem to break, a trap I have willingly fallen into and persuaded myself to enjoy. Maybe that's because it feels absolutely impossible to stop it and drag myself out of this mess, or maybe it is because it helps me paint a better picture and see the world for what I wanted it to be, and not what it truly is. It pays to have a vivid imagination, especially if you can make yourself forget how different it is from the real one.
No matter how much I can get my hands on, I still want more. It is the very first thought that comes to mind the moment I open my eyes every morning, and sometimes it pops up in my head even before I wake up. It is all that I am living for, and all that I can't ignore alone at night, like Amy Lee said. What's crazy about it is the fact that even though I do realize it is a messed up situation that leads to nowhere, I always find an excuse to justify my choice to myself.
It is relatively easy to fool yourself into thinking that what's real is actually not, because you are the one in charge, and therefore, you can always switch the narrative and flip the script. Your self can be your best friend, but one that is willing to agree and conform with whatever rules you may come up with. A silent listener and observer with no personality whatsoever, so you can manipulate them into believing whatever it is you want them to, because they barely ever demand any answers.
Take advantage of it
You can use this loophole of the human mind to convince oneself about anything and everything, just as long as you make sure to pick the right words and place them in the correct order. The greatest technology of all time, and at the same time the very reason we were able to develop our intellect and stand out from the other lifeforms on the planet. This is the very reason why we are the ones in charge, even though we are physically inferior to almost every species of the animal kingdom.
The bad thing is that not only did we use this technology to enslave all other earthlings and exploit the planet's resources, but also to fool our fellow human beings into blindly trusting us, when our intentions are actually not the best. Governments and powerful elites know this secret and they have been using it to keep us occupied with the silly stuff, while they make all the decisions that affect and shape our lives in ways we can't even comprehend.
It is the very reason why our civilization evolved to the point where it is today, and kept thriving throughout the ages. All technological advancements made are thanks to this mechanism, and therefore, our ever-increasing life standards are also a product of this desire for excellence. But it is starting to take its toll on our mental health, as it can be quite exhausting to live in a world where everybody's success depends on someone else's failure. A crual concept but also one that can take us places.
Like it has done so far
So I find myself trapped in this hole, trying to find a way out, reaching for a hand of help and screaming just to breath. I want more and more because it helps me forget how cruel this competitive world actually is, and takes me to a different place where you don't have to be successful in order to be truly accepted and loved for what you really are, and not for what you could be. Simplicity is beautiful, yet we seem unable to appreciate it and keep asking for more and more.
I have found eternal peace down here, and am planning to stay for as long as I need to. It is a quiet place where nobody can find me. Nobody can tell me what to do and what to avoid, nobody is ever going to try to offer advice I couldn't care less about. And the best part of it is I don't have to make any excuses to anyone at all. It is me paying the price of my own actions, just like it is just me having to suffer the consequences of my decisions.
That said, I don't seem to be able to realize why everyone is trying to convince me about their theory in regard to this beautiful yet cruel realm we were all brought into. I've come to realize that it is probably due to the fact that they have been going through the same struggles as me, caught up in their everyday troubles and hustles, and tired of having to listen to what everyone else has to say. And so they exhibit this sort of behaviour as a defense mechanism that has helped them take it so far.
If you made it this far, just know that I'm thankful you took the time to read these lines. I sincerely hope you learned something new today, and if you didn't, I'd still be happy knowing that I managed to make you feel something for a little bit, or to reconsider your life options up until now. It is never too late to start over again, just make sure you stay out of this loop. Don't even think about falling into it if you're looking to live a carefree life.
I appreciate your attention,
@lordneroo
Human wants are insatiable. When economists attest to that and we have seen it first hand. I've just learned to live with the humans around me