Make the most of the situation
Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is currently going through some hard times and feels helpless and broken. He has serious yet not life-threatening health issues, and they surely add a lot of trouble to his already troublesome life. We have been through some tough times together and he knows he can trust me, so that makes me probably the only person who gets to hear about his internal battles and concerns. And I try to be a good listener when he does share.
The thing is he hasn't been happy lately, and just wants to leave everything behind and travel abroad. He loves the Netherlands and would like to move there, and even though his healthy financial situation allows him to do so, there is still a very significant reason he can't do it. He is an only child who has lost his father, and therefore, he has to take care of his mother, who is growing older and needs care. Of course we are talking about his mother, so there's absolutely no option other than to stay by her side as far as I'm concerned. And I know he feels the same way.
See that's the bitter truth about life; we are never truly free to pursue our goals and dreams. The love that you withhold is the pain that you carry as they say; you set your own limitations by deciding what matters the most to you. You are tied to your needs and your thoughts are dictated by your emotions, and unfortunately you rarely ever get the chance to break this never-ending cycle. However, it is always possible, and thus there's still a chance for this once in a lifetime moment of revelation to occur. You just have to keep your eyes open.
Two sides of the coin
Of course there is always something to lose if you're in for some gains, and that is the law of sacrifice, which governs this amazing yet cruel realm we were brought into. In order for my friend to have a shot at his dreams, it would take a huge sacrifice he is probably not willing to make, and understandably so, as I don't think that many people would be able to turn their back to the person that gave them life and raised them when they need their help the most. And to sacrifice your dreams in order to serve the people that mean the world to you is a noble cause I absolutely respect.
However, I can't help but think that it's a curse as well, as we probably only live once, and therefore, we should be doing everything in our power to make the most of it. But then again, what matters the most in life is not always the same thing for everybody, and as you can understand, this is a rather objective topic of discussion. What matters the most to my friend is the root cause of his suffering, and thus the invisible prison he is trapped in is the product of his morals and emotions. We all have our own invisible prison we keep ourselves in, but some of us are happy in there.
I can totally relate to him, as I'm the same kind of person and I can't help it. I wish I had the power to change that. A switch that would allow me to change this mess as soon as I press it. I seem to be unable to take control; I always make my decisions depending on the needs of the people I care about the most, and tend to prioritize their well-being over mine. I do not do this on purpose; it's just the way I am. I wish it weren't true, and I would give anything in the world to take control and change this, but I can't.
At least I try
However this doesn't mean I am being hypocritical whenever I try to change his mind and talk him out of that loop. It's just what's best for him, and given the fact that I'm supposed to be his best friend, I feel like I have to offer him advice that would serve his best interests, regardless of how hard, cruel or cold-hearted I might have to be to do this efficiently. I try to be the brother he never had, and only think about what's best for his mental health and future development whenever I decide to share my insights in regard to his life decisions.
The truth is I know that no matter how much I try I cannot affect him at all, and I really can't blame him for not being able to apply what we mutually agree upon whenever we hold a discussion of this sort. I am just like that too, and I know how hard it can be to change your attitude and ways, especially as you're getting older and older. Our subconscious mind controls our every thought, and therefore dominates our life by shaping our personality and manipulating our actions. It basicaly works like a tape recorder that saves everything you experience and plays it back. Thus, you can't escape your past.
And the past tends to shape the future, because the more you remember and reminisce, the higher the chance that you will repeat the same thoughts and actions, and this leads to an endless loop that keeps repeating itself. It controls everything we thought we were in control of, and reminds us of everything we thought we would easily forget. My friend has decided to put his plans on hold for a few more years, and I can understand his decision, but I do hope he will have the time needed to take on this much wanted endeavour of his.
Life is for the risk takers
The thing is you always have to risk in life if you're looking to reap rewards. Nothing is for granted, so there's nobody to guarantee that you will get what you're looking for if you choose to sacrifice something else in return. This is a fact, so it goes without saying that there is no use for a passive stance in this eternal battle of the stars. Be brave and go for yours, be fearless and don't worry about anything at all. The Universe will notice your courage and respond to it, and you will be in for some huge surprises.
I know I cannot persuade my buddy to apply this principle in his life, and as a matter of fact I am also unable to do this myself. However, this doesn't mean that I'm not in a position to recognize that it is a huge mistake, and since I am sure that it's a path that leads to nowhere, I have to share this information with the people in my environment that mean the world to me. After all, this may help them improve their life or inspire them to avoid wasting time on things that are not worth it. There is nothing to lose, so I have decided to give it a try.
And this is what I'm trying to inspire my readers to do as well. I want everyone to realize that nothing is life in given, so it pays to be a risk taker. Even if you just passively watch from the sidelines, you are still not guaranteed to last as long as you'd like to think you will. Or maybe you will, but out of pure luck. Just a mere coincidence and that's all. Life is unpredictable and dynamic. You never know what happens the very next moment.
If you made it his far, you are a true hero. Thank you for taking the time to read this piece, it's great to know that some of you appreciate those lines. I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading and learned something new today. Even if you didn't, I'd still be more than happy to know that I made you feel something for a little bit. That's the reason I write, to make you feel all that inspires you to induce change.
I appreciate your attention,
