You most likely associate it with people, relatives or loved ones, to whom they have some kind of addiction, most often alcohol, drug or other.
The fact is that this phenomenon is associated not so much with harmful habits, as with a particular psychological state of a person. It turned out that recently codependency appears to be a rather common phenomenon.
Of course, partners in a couple depend on each other, but this dependence can be both excessive and insufficient. Their relationship is a kind of exchange. However, just as giving some aspects of oneself is necessary, giving others is not at all necessary. The main issue in the exchange is to be aware of exactly what is going on between them, to what extent what is going on is conducive to strengthening the relationship both now and in the future.
What is the difference between the position of the woman who is in a stable and healthy relationship and the woman in a codependent relationship?
In this context, we will use the expression "mature woman" to summarize the personality qualities of a psychologically mature, adult, knowledgeable, experienced woman.
The mature woman has a sense of her own dignity and considers herself to be of value.
The codependent woman is not sure of her value and dignity and needs her partner to constantly affirm them with his love.
The mature woman knows how to defend herself from the adversities in life. She is able to solve her problems, to turn to others for help, to communicate with different people.
The codependent woman needs a man to protect her because she does not feel able to protect herself independently.
The mature woman is also comfortable in her solitude; she can live quite harmoniously on her own without losing the sense of fulfillment and meaningfulness of life. The codependent woman cannot remain alone and out of relationships, life seems meaningless to her.
The mature woman knows how to support and comfort herself.
The codependent woman needs her man to support and comfort her in difficult life situations.
When a man is disrespectful, ignorant, undignified, the mature woman distances herself from him. She becomes less approachable and turns her attention to other men or interesting pursuits.
The codependent woman believes that love should be unconditional and stays close to the man, giving him all her warmth, time, attention, hoping that the man will change.
The mature woman knows what her interests are, she has hobbies, girlfriends and strives for personal development.
The co-dependent woman gives her whole life to the man and has no other interest than family relations.
The mature woman, being a part of the family, well delineates her personal space, which is inviolable.
The codependent has in common with her husband the e-mail, the computer, the password for the social networking pages, the circle of communication, the ways of relaxation and rest.... Gradually no difference of opinions, tastes, thoughts, desires is found; it is impossible to know who in the couple rules the time and choices.
A mature woman has a good sense of exactly what she wants, what she likes and what suits her.
The codependent woman has trouble choosing clothes (or anything else) and needs the advice of her husband, girlfriend, or someone else before making a decision.
The mature woman knows how to enjoy ordinary things, and also to experience aesthetic delight in art and beauty. The codependent can only enjoy life when she has a loving man by her side.
The mature woman always finds time to take care of herself, her health and beauty.
The codependent woman never has time for such things because of work, family, other cares...
The mature woman knows how much and what type of male attention she needs. She can negotiate and calmly respect a man's friendships and interests.
The codependent woman wants all of the man's attention for herself and all the while demands that he give up friends and "dangerous" hobbies.The mature woman can calmly express disagreement about behavior or discomfort in the relationship.
The codependent woman tries not to spoil the relationship with conflicts and does not listen to her inner signals.
The mature woman does not harass the partner. She either supports him in his endeavors or simply disappears from his life. The codependent woman hysterics or horse-reads the man for not being the way she wants him, emphasizing guilt without changing her own patterns of behavior.
The mature woman openly states her needs and desires, leaving the man free to choose whether to satisfy them. She knows where the line is for what is acceptable to her and can appreciate what is most important - depth and warmth in a relationship.
The codependent woman makes demands and claims, whines and complains, and sees the man as a malfunctioning tool, not embodying her desires. She openly expresses her desires and disagreements.
The codependent woman heaps insults on unfulfilled dreams and over time closes her heart to men in general.
What kind of woman are you?