I haven't been able to post an article since August of 2020 since I have been rehired from my previous BPO company and got so busy. Long real life experience ahead but I hope you'll read it.
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It was a blessing to get a job during pandemic and I'm grateful for it. What I didn't know is that it will cause me a whole lot of insecurities and a slap from reality.
You see, I've grown up trying to crawl my way up to the top. I have always been a late bloomer my whole life. My mother and her siblings, during their school years, were always on top and that's what they're expecting from me, too. I was NEVER my true self when I'm around them because they already have another ME pictured out in their minds.
So back to August 2020, I got rehired and assigned to a different account. For those who don't know how BPO works, if a person works as a call center agent doesn't mean that he/she has the same job as the other call center agents. There will be different accounts in just one BPO company. "Accounts" refers to the clients you are working for.
I was under a banking account. At first, it was doing way way better than I've expected. It has always been a dream for me to work in financial services. We were 12 in the team and only one of us is a newbie. Our class size is actually pretty small compared to a regular wave(team) trained per batch since they wanna adjust to the "new normal" and have the training virtually.
I was doing well and even got a few praises from the trainer. I was also doing good with my wavemates until...
I actually have no idea that I was showing off or some sort but I was just being participative during the training phase. Me and G, one of my wavemates, were the ones going head to head especially in mock call activities. I was doing good since as far as I know, I haven't done anything wrong...or so I thought.
We have two different group chats, one with our trainer and supervisors, and another one for us alone. I was reading through the conversations to the chat pod that only us trainees were included when suddenly my second account (I have two accounts on Facebook)and G were kicked out. I even saw their chats after M (another GUY wavemate) kicked out my other account, then he noticed that I have another account, which is my active one, and kicked me out also.
I have no idea what was going on and I was dumbfounded. I mean, it is not a big deal to get kicked out of a group chat, what I didn't get is that what did I DO that he kicked me out. So I chatted him (G). I am not the type of person who walks around like nothing if I have done something that may have offended anyone. I asked him and told him that I apologize if I did have offended him. What left me in awe is that he replied that they're just deleting the group chat and will be creating a new one. And for the record, that was a total BS. I asked one of my close wavemates if THAT group chat is still active and you guess it right, it was still active and all of them, except me and G, are still there.
From there started my hell life at work. I know it may sound petty but it triggered a lot of insecurities in me. You see, M is a native speaker. I have no freaking idea why he lives here but who cares, I didn't care until then. I felt so insecure with myself that I don't even want to work anymore. I lost all my confidence and I have been sleepless. All of the hardwork I've done to perform well in order to pass the training faded in a snap.
My system unit did not work and I have to wait for a week for them to have a replacement which I have to pick up myself. I've traveled for almost 6 hours in the middle of the pandemic just to get a replacement, not to mention that I still have a shift that night. I don't know what's my trainer's strategy also by that time, but the moment I got the replacement, he immediately had me under validation call so that I can start to take in calls that same day. I am not complaining because I don't want to take calls, it was just unfair to me since I lost a week and didn't get the chance to make up for it even if it's not my fault. And to take note, I still have some other wavemates, who were able to attend the week that I haven't but they weren't validated yet.
Then, we encountered a problem with our internet connection, which took another week of my training phase before it got fixed.
I was just so feed up that I submitted a resignation letter on the last day of training which was rigorously ignored and I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I am exhausted physically and mentally to even care about my record.
My point here is, be nice to everyone even if you yourself is experiencing struggles. Because everything in life has a ripple effect, one small act can affect every single thing to other people.
It can either break or make them.
In this case, it broke me.
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Thank you so much for reading. Leave a comment for me and tips on how to ignore such things.
God Bless and keep safe. XOXO