Did Highschool Change Me?

When we were in highschool a lot of things have influenced us like friends influenced us on how they act or what they like or like teachers influenced us on giving knowledge. Being in highschool was terrifying because one of the things is that you don't know who you'll be meeting and how they'll affect you and it's like you've entered some kind of jungle where the battle was about status (well, in my school atleast). They'd brag about how rich or popular they are and that's when I realized that the school that I was enrolled in was like battling social status. Anyways, I don't wanna get sidetracked so I'm gonna talk about how school had affected me. I wanted to post it here in some/full detail because of my noise.cash friend @Broxi's comment. ✧ʕ̢̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩·͡˔·ོɁ̡̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩✧

First Year Highschool

When I first set foot on campus I wanted to give the best first impression to my new classmates because I was very new at the school. I was really shy but I still tried my best to make friends. I did made some friends when I was in first year and the first friend that I had made was a girl. She was a bit boyish on how she acted but she's totally a girl, my guess the reason why she was acting like that is because for her it's cool. The second friend that I had made was another girl, when I first met her I observed that she was well mannered and was focused on studies. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth girls that I met were flirtatious, a klutz/clumsy, scary and doesn't care about anything. I also made one boy friend and he was really funny but at first I really thought he was gay because of his voice that still hasn't hit puberty.

All was fine I was still stable on my feelings and no mixed emotions have hit me yet but when I got in the Top 20 students one "friend" said mean things to me like calling me a robot because all I do is study, not really interacting much and on how I walk (like what's the correct way to walk??). I felt really hurt when she said that and that hurting got worst when two of my friends fought. They fought because there was a misunderstanding and I didn't even chose sides but I did hang out with the my friend that was the victim but then that other friend that called me a robot then called me plastic/fake because I was comforting my other friend and she also said something about what I wore. When she said all of those I waited for the last class to be over and I went home crying so much and became insecure about myself. Like I didn't know why she was really mean to me, I was just doing my part on being a student and a daughter to make my parents proud of me.

I then had hatred on her because she was really mean. I was influenced by her toxic attitude. I then changed without me realizing it, from being a happy-go-lucky person without a care on how I looked to being toxic to others.

Second to Third Year Highschool

My attitude worsen over the years. I still have been studying to make my grades passable but on the hard subjects I basically just gave up unlike before I would keep on trying to solve and understand them. I would then just do special tasks to pass that hard subject. On these years I started to backstab and judge other people. The feeling of it was enjoyable because I had let my anger out but it still felt so wrong but I couldn't stop like it's addicting. I then realized that on some of my friends that only common thing that we had ever shared were we hated the same people.

On these years also I had been really clingy/selfish on my friends like I didn't want them to be with other people because I'd get jealous that they're talking more and most of the times when I'm really antisocial to people, I'd get paranoid and think they're talking mean things behind my back/backstabbing me and I was right they were talking behind my back. I felt really alone on these years because of what kept happening. Me and my other friends fought again and never hung out with each other again just because of one misunderstanding. We all had split up in half since I've gained some friends on those year levels. Instead of 10 friends we split up into half.

Fourth Year Highschool to that 2 years of K to 12 strand

On the fourth year of High School I slowly changed back to my old self. I've been happy, stopped judging and backstabbing other people and I had made my grades stable again I was still insecure about myself and a bit antisocial BUT the four friends that I had left made me feel safe and love my body. They were the joy that always made my day and I realized that they're true and worth to keep. They've helped me get to my old self and I'm grateful to have them in my life. Since, my father died when I was in fourth year it made me depressed some time to time and they've always been there when I wanted to let out my feelings, I had a shoulder to lean on (or might I say shoulders lol) without getting judged at. Until we were now at our specific strand from the K to 12 program we were inseparable. Our friendship grew stronger each and everyday. We do have some bad days but we then fix it like talking to one another about it and apologizing to one another. Me and the friends that I lost before still talk but we're not that close anymore.

So did highschool really change me? The answer to my own question is "No" because highschool didn't change me the PEOPLE in highschool did. They've influenced most things that I've been doing in school and in life. The most influential ones were my friends since they're always the ones that I hung out with. I've learned so much and realized from my past mistakes and try to encounter them instead of avoiding them. I also learned that the quantity of friends isn't better because you wouldn't know who is really true, it's better to have less friends that are true and love you (Quality over Quantity lol).

END.

🌼Hope you guys enjoyed reading my post and when I did first let go of those stressful times it made me feel happier and of course less stressed -ᄒᴥᄒ-