Nothing is more essential to learning, and particularly to the development of those special intellectual qualities of originality and creativity, than self-estcem. A child must be confident enough to risk failure in order to learn, since most learning is a proceSs of trial and error. And in order to become a truly creative person, a child must be Suiciently confident to risk failure on a large scale- sometimes with an audience.
The first step in helping a child build self-esteem is to pay generous attention to him. This is not to say that you must always drop everything at his call or cater to his every demand. But it does mean that you should frequently take the time tO give your littie one the kind of eye contact, ciose-listening and undivided attention that lets him know he is an mportaiE person. ihis telis him that his wants and merit serious consideration, that his houghtS are interesiing enough to listen to and hear out the end. You can begin giving your child this message trom the earliest days of infancy, by responding promptly to his crics and taking care of his needs. You arc not spoiling him with this kind of attention; you are building his confidence, showing him from the beginning that he carries some weight in the world.
Repcated successes create confidence and an expectation of further success. Take notice and praise your child when he lcarns to button a shirt, draw a circle-however lopsidedor stack one block atop another. In making him feel good about his efforts, you expose him to the pleasure of success and help him to develop a positive attitude toward learning. Because you tell him he is capable, he will think of himself as capable. When the youngster eventually enters school, his firmly established expectation of success will cause him to view reading or arithmetic as just another challenge of the sort that he has regularly mastered.
Go out of your way to help your child succeed, but be subtle. If he is having trouble pouring a glass of milk, for instance, first ask if you can hold the glass, then move it so that it catches the milk. Ifyour daughter is throwing a softball, try very hard to catch it, even if catching it requires a long reach on your part, and tell the youngster that she made a good throw.
When a child is having difficulty with a problem, however, it is best to let him find the solution whenever possible: He will remember best what he discovers for himself. Advise him, but do not interfere or take over the task yourseif unless he asks tor help. That way you are showing him that you have confidence in his abilities.
