comparing yourself to others can be a complete pitfall. However, you can use it to develop yourself without compromising your self-esteem.
As humans, we possess many innate traits that we have no part in taking root in us. One of these qualities is comparing ourselves to others. No one has escaped the motivational words, aphorisms, books and articles that forbid us to adopt this habit. However, we make a comparison anyway, and in all aspects of our life: luck, money, intelligence, beauty, physical appearance, and even culture. Although comparing ourselves to others is sometimes a destructive habit, we can refine and refine it. To be compatible with our principles and goals in life.
Here are some steps to help you take advantage of the habit of comparing yourself to others:
1. Be envious. Do not be envious
No one gains from the instinctive, unconscious comparison fueled by the ego; It builds hatred of others and wishing for the demise of the blessings of their life barriers, and robs you of humanity and make you feel disconnected from those around you. And because people feel what is in the hearts of others, they will feel what is in yourself, which will lead to their alienation from you, and then enter the circle of unity. In psychology, these feelings are called the "theory of relative deprivation", and they are the feeling that one is less than everyone else. And these feelings won't get you anywhere but to hold back.
Know that you are no less than others. You may have the same data as others, but they view it differently. So, please and support others; To find support and love when you start your own journey.
2. Turn envy into inspiration
The first thing you need to do in this step is become consciously aware of the comparison trap. Pay attention to the feelings of envy as mentioned above, and do not let them possess you. Always remind yourself that this comparison is only a means of motivating you and pushing you forward.
The next step is inspiration. You should focus on what you really like about the other person. For example: If you like the personality of your co-worker, shed light on the specific qualities that impress you, if you find yourself admiring his self-confidence and his ability to overcome difficult times, then you have been inspired by some of the qualities that you should develop in yourself, which are enhancing self-confidence and ability To endure difficulties.
3. Think about what you need to do to get to the same result
As I mentioned above, you may possess the same data that someone else used to achieve their goals. For example: If you want to have an athletic and attractive body, you both have the starting point, which is the body. But the difference here is that the other started to be implemented, exercising, eating healthy food, avoiding fast food, etc. ... As for you, you have not yet. There are many examples in this regard, whether in success in professional life, which requires you to hone your skills and identify your strengths to enhance them, and your weaknesses to fix them. Or in education, culture, intelligence, beauty, etc.
4. Avoid ego deception
Do not be happy to win when comparing you to others, it is a false battle created by the "self", and relative satisfaction is but the other side of deprivation. What drives you to brag may knock you out of the game when the tables turn. For example: If you take pride in your appearance, and you feel better than everyone else, what will happen when someone else shows up and you see them as better than you?
The presence of other people who are less than you, in terms of intelligence or appearance is not an achievement that adds to your list, as this is a natural and fundamental basis for life. Instead of bragging and meaningless comparison, you can reinforce what distinguishes you and harness it to reach the best version of yourself or inspire those around you.
5. Know your worth and don't underestimate yourself
It has now become clear that the correct concept of “comparing oneself to others” is “to inspire”, not to erase oneself and aspire to live the lives of others. Do not underestimate yourself or attack yourself with accusations of failure, weakness and helplessness while you view others as being able to achieve what you aspire to be. The resources may be the same, but the circumstances are different.
There is a funny story that you may have read before. Let me tell it to you again: “S” ran 10 miles in an hour, while “Y” reached the same distance in (45) minutes. Who do you think is the most skilled? It is an "r" is not it? But you did not know enough information about the circumstances of each of them. S runs on unpaved ground, while the other runs on jogging ground.
“S” is (40) years old, while the other is only (32) years old. S runs in rainy weather and strong winds, while the other runs in mild weather that does not hinder him. Both possessed the resources, but circumstances changed. Now, who is the most skilled in your opinion?