I locked a blind darkness inside me

He said some things cannot be saved.

It was too late to heal my wounds, there was nothing left to save... there was only one option, to blend in and disappear in the dream of the earth...

And finally...

When the wolf's dream came true, I was the last apple to fall from the tree, but I was the first to rot...it was as if I was the black sheep of the tree, banned by God...

Some things are not meant to be told...said the worm.

I don't know how to untie the tongue I've locked. A blind darkness inside me, so cruel, so lonely, I don't know if a smile will ever grow on my lips after this.

I used to think that one dies when one is dead, when one decomposes and disappears into the ground...I realize now that not feeling anything is worse than dying.

Why...

Because when I think of death, I am filled with peace.

But there is something fluttering inside me...said the tree.

Pain wants to be written in spite of my tingling fingers. Each letter is a cut, the more I write, the more I bleed, the more I bleed, the more I want to write. I realize I don't remember much worth telling, but it's just my desire for a last purification, maybe I'm just distracting myself.

There have been dreams that don't belong to me in my nights for a long time. I am filled with feelings that I have to watch from afar and that I can never belong to...

There's a wolf gnawing on his apple with laughter and a grin that says "it's your turn" overflows from his teeth and gnaws at my bones...

Part of me is impatient, part of me is cowardly... I know it's not my choice, but I can't stop imagining myself falling. I'm impatient, to fall at a moment's notice...

I'm scared to death, I'm hanging on my branch in case it lasts longer.

I want to say to hell with the tree and the wolf and let myself fall into the void...

But...

Some things are still waiting for their turn... said the apple.

Come on maggot, one last bite, you've almost reached my heart...

And

When the wolf's dream finally came true, I was the last apple to fall from the branch, but I was rotten before I fell, I was the only one who knew it, I hid the whole truth even from the tree, even though I knew it would be the reason...

I had nothing to say and nowhere to go, no one knew, but I was the tree, the apple and the wolf.

We have lost ourselves trying to prove ourselves. What are we looking for in the place where we are without love, our empty eyes are always stuck? I don't know why, but maybe it is the fear of extinction behind the effort to exist. The numbness behind the lack of love is our biggest fear, perhaps being hungry for love, we do not realize that every step we took to eliminate the innocence of each murderer of unsolved murders led us to murder. We started by rotting the tiny seeds of love, the feelings we withheld from each other. We managed to find the last remaining seeds of love and play with their genetics, and now, no matter what we do, we have all become doomed beings within ourselves. Humans are helpless beings, always trying to exist in someone else, doomed to extinction within themselves, lost in the depths of their own souls. Maybe that's why we strive to exist, a PRESENCE that disappears in order to exist...

You see, there was no salvation for me, at the beginning of the story I actually wrote the end.