In a Relationship: Decade Plus One

When people ask if I'm single, I usually respond 'yes' (technically), but I'm definitely not available. I've been in a relationship for 11 years and 9 months, as of writing. We not only became classmates but also colleagues for more than two years. We also experienced being separated from each other for two years during those years. Everyone repeatedly asks us about marriage telling us it's time to be in the next phase of our relationship because 11 years in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship will eventually end sooner or later. However, I don't believe in superstition or whatever you want to name it. If God has planned for us to be together, the period doesn't matter.

Everything happens for a reason. It is hard to accept that not all you desire in life will not be within your grasp, but as time goes by, you will eventually say, now it all makes sense. In my case, I wasn't able to achieve my dream course or work to become a surgeon, but God favored me my 1 Corinthians 13 at an early age. Well, I realized that when I became the breadwinner of the family. Through thick and thin, highs and lowest, I have someone who's always been with me.

It's a bit late for Valentine's day, and our monthsary just passed by (16th), but I will still share how my more-than-a-decade relationship began.

How It Began

Anthony and I were both Electronics and Communications Engineering students. Our course was divided into two blocks: he's B98 and I'm B100. We were not classmates not until 3rd-year college because that's the start of the all-major subjects per sem. We should've met during the acquaintance party of the freshmen students of the College of Engineering, but my mother didn't allow me to go because of the word party. It was held at nighttime, and I need to go home early. There's also an acquaintance party exclusive for ECE, but I wasn't able to attend it even though it was held daytime. Why? Because the venue was outside the campus. With that, our path didn't cross for the first two months.

Palakasan season came, and posters for different auditions were everywhere. I was supposed to audition in Pop dance, but I ended up attending the audition for cheerleading. That was when we became acquainted. Three ECE freshmen got accepted: my blockmate, Antoni, and I. My blockmate was Antoni's classmate in Philippine Science. I was not close with her, my blockmate, but both of them were friendly. Plus, most of the seniors in different courses were also their seniors in their high school.

When my blockmate had an accident during a stunt, she was prohibited to continue on the said competition. Now that leaves Antoni and I eating dinner together whenever our seniors were not around.

After the Event

Palakasan season ended after two months. Even after the event, he would still say hi to me. It is not only me but to everyone. He's a friend to everyone. If he didn't say hi to me first, I'd probably pass him without giving a smile. It sounds like a snob, but I'm actually reserved to say hi first to everyone. Maybe because my system only accepts my high school friends as the only circle of friends that I must have.

With that, my high school classmates were my lunch dates always. But whenever our schedule didn't meet, I ate alone in a walking distance eatery in front of the school. I walked then ate alone. I always placed my bag on the table so that no one will attempt to share a table with me. When he saw me eating alone, he just invited himself and his friends to share a table with me. He's always with his classmates both in high school and college. It's actually intimidating since they were in a group, four/five boys then one BEAUTIFUL girl. (Capslock para intense!)

We had this area in the College of Arts and Social Sciences (CASS) building, where it was dubbed as Himantayon Avenue (Himantayon is like Marites, gossiper.) Freshmen and sophomores' classes were mostly within the CASS building. Whenever he saw me with a wrinkled forehead, he would come near me and offer assistance for the Math subject. That was the time I realized he's intelligent. I love Math when I was in high school, but when I stepped into college, I began unliking it. I don't know if it's the Professor who likes to face either the board and the book or maybe because ECE had never been my choice nor an option.

We became close friends to the point he would go to the gym and wait for me until my class is done. At that time, I only had a night class that ends at 6:30 PM. That was when he saw my Chinita high school classmate. I did introduce him to her, and they became textmate. At that time, I had a boyfriend with whom I was trying to break up with. I was planning to concentrate on my studies because, as mentioned, I started unliking Mathematics.

With the hectic schedules, my classmates in high school and I only met during ROTC days, Saturday and Sunday. It's always Antoni whom I always hung out with. We started sharing life updates like he like Chinitas, and I'm having a hard time breaking up with my boyfriend. Since he's a DOST scholar, whenever he received his allowance, he always asked me to eat somewhere else. My allowance was small, and I always had a lunch box with me, so I always said no to his offer. But he was quite persistent, so that leaves me to accept his offer, but only at snack time. I still ate in the eatery, even if I had a lunch box. Hehe. But I order juice or soft drinks tho.

Then, it was the start of the second semester when I decided to break up with my boyfriend, regardless of his response. Antoni, at that time, started showing his interest to my Chinese classmate. Since I considered him as a friend, I told him that I'm free already. He asked me why and when. He was somehow puzzled since he had recently seen us talking somewhere. Later on, I also shared with him I had a crush on someone. He asked me the name and course because he might know him. I didn't know, so I started describing the guy I first saw as I entered the university. And he knew him. The funny thing was, as I told him about it, he saw the guy walking towards in our direction. He immediately called him and introduced us to each other. I was stunned but happy, of course! After a week or two, Antoni was out of the picture. I thought because of our hectic schedule, but then I saw him eating with his friends. That was the cue. So I had to eat my lunch alone. Again.

It lasted for a total of three weeks. I didn't know why he was acting like I'm invisible or a stranger to him. It bothered me so much. I cornered and confronted him, and he just shrugged and walked away. I was furious. Another week passed, and still, the treatment was the same. I started accepting it since I still have my high school friends, after all. Three weeks had passed, he messaged me asking where I am. It was out of the blue question. I replied I'm going home already, but I'll buy my medicine first. He didn't reply, so I just shrugged it off. Then, I was surprised when I saw him standing and waiting outside the store. It was really awkward. Then he just blurted he distanced himself because the guy and I became friends and he wanted us to work out somehow. I was puzzled because he was the one who introduced us, and besides, he had a crush on my friend, too. My left eyebrow was already sky-high because he's totally not making sense. Then, he confessed again it was just an alibi, and he likes me. It was sudden...and awkward. So I laughed and hit his shoulder while saying, "Pagsure uy!"(Be sure!). He was dead serious, so I stopped laughing.

I didn't believe him because he only likes Chinitas. But every time I asked him, his answer is he likes my eyes and my hair. When he mentioned hair, I asked him again if he liked me before. My hair was extra long, and because of the cheerleading and then followed by my dance group summer workshop, I had an Aeon Flux hair. It lasted for two years.

The official courtship lasted five months. I somehow think he started courting me when he kept on inviting me for lunch, snacks, and dinner. I remember telling him one of his friends courted me, and with a raised voice, he said, "No, I don't like him for you!".

He wanted to go to our house to ask permission but told him not to. I lived in a barrio (small community) where the clan of Marites is everywhere. Plus, I didn't like the way my mother teased me. Also, I made it clear to him that I don't want fancy things or surprises like flowers or stuffed toys. Because of our setup, other people would only see us as close friends (barkada), and both of us are not into PDA (Public Display of Affection). After I said yes, it took him several months to hold my hand or put his hand on my waist or shoulder.

Meet the Parents

My father wanted me to have a stable job before entering a relationship. I understand my father's stand on this since I'm his eldest. On the other hand, my mother would always say I should never listen to my KJ (killjoy) father. She said I can have a boyfriend as long as I will not do anything bad and make sure I graduate. She even added that if the guy will visit, he must bring chocolate and a 1L of coke for her. Even with the support of my mother, I still didn't want to let them know about my love life.

Antoni is stubborn and persistent. If he wants to do something, he will do it no matter what. After class, I told him I'll go to the city and he can have dinner with his friends. He asked me where I am heading and who's with me. I replied I'm going to Konika for a family picture. As far as I remember, I didn't tell him that we will eat in Jollibee. But he went there and freely introduced himself to my parents. I was sweating and annoyed by him. My mother's smile resembles a teasing clown. I don't like to be teased. My father, on the other hand, was neither frowning nor smiling. But I can sense he was unamused. Antoni didn't dine with us, but my father was silent. He didn't reprimand me, but my mother has been teasing me nonstop.

His Version

He said we met once during high school thru a mutual friend. I can't remember him, so I responded he's just bluffing. But when he started telling me the details, that's when I realized he is definitely telling the truth. Until now, I still can't remember him.

That's it for my cheesy but not so cheesy article. Hihi

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