Appreciate The Husband

Last night, I had a little chitchat with some friends. Let's say we... what should be the right word to use? Gossip? Okay, so we talked about a colleague who has been terribly treating her husband like she's God. 🙄... Please don't judge me, or us. True friends worry and I guess that's how I feel right now upon knowing a friend could do something like this to her own husband. I don't wanna judge her but clearly she is showing it to everyone.

Note:
I'm writing this to share my reaction / opinion based on what I observed.. 
There is no intention to offend her or someone else, I just want to express my 
thoughts ... I am a friend who never tolerate this kind of act and I'm worried about 
their relationship... I hope you learn something from this, too. 

This girl changed a lot since she got hired. Getting hired in that position, making a little income out of it isn't really something to brag about. And even if you get a higher position and paid a higher amount, well, it's not necessary to change attitude and be boastful.

The pandemic seemed to turn the wheel between her and her husband. The guy got terminated from work due to Covid-19 impact to business establishments that includes his job. He went home to his family bringing nothing.

Good thing the wife was hired few months ago. At first, I have observed her excitement when her husband arrived. Later on, as weeks passed seeing her husband at home, it seemed like the girl has changed. She's become very moody each day. I know, we know, because they live next to our work place. We can see how she treats her poor husband. Sometimes, I could hear her calling and talking to him in a loud voice. And we've known this family for so long. I myself have witnessed them as they grow, ever since they were in high school until now that they are married.

For years, I have seen how the husband works hard for them. And now, that he stays at home, all he gets is yelling and nagging from her. What we see nowadays is very unexpected since this girl doesn't act that way when she was just around asking us for possible opportunities in the office. Ofcourse, we loved to help her and that's why she's working now. We all gave her a warm welcome when she reported for duty.

Months passed, this girl developed a bossy attitude. I can sense it myself. The way she talks, very impolite! Which is not a good character for a subordinate. Then, the others started to see how she talks and treats others with same position as hers, the superiors started monitoring her because she has very little accomplishments and stays in front of the computer to watch YouTube videos and shop online. (I don't wanna be hypocrite, I sometimes get hooked to online shopping and YouTube videos, too. Lol! Not right in front of my boss, though)

The girl's mother started complaining about her daughter's attitude towards her husband. She saw how she yells at him everytime, like a boss! One time the guy showed his almost empty wallet to his mom-in-law. There were three silver coins left in his wallet that couldn't even buy him a candy.

One time she went out with another colleague. They went into the thrift shop with her husband which she insisted to come with them. They were busy looking and choosing for dresses and the husband made himself busy choosing pants and shirts. Our colleague was disheartened to see the girl whisper to her husband that she only brought few money and couldn't afford to buy something for him. He just kept quiet and dropped the goods right away.

Another incident was when we went to see a friend outside the office. Our friend happened to share to us how her husband took a day off just to accommodate her to deliver the goods she's selling. The girl suddenly raised her voice as if she was trying to sarcastically tell her husband "how a good husband should be" like, "hey look at them he took a day off for her, how about you, what can you do?". Then we went awkward. The guy looked away, I saw bitterness in his eyes. Last night, I knew that the girl's mother shared her disappointment against her daughter's attitude and how the husband would love to go back to his hometown.

Give and Take

Isn't it sad to hear something like this? Married couples know the basic element in marriage which is "give and take". It should be present even to those who are still starting to establish a good relationship. Trust and respect should be present as well.

Humiliating your partner right in front of other people is like crushing your relationship down to pieces. It's not the guy who should be ashamed of being embarrassed in public but the wife who never understands the need of her husband for respect. For sure he was upset and feeling underestimated.

The girl must have been overwhelmed when she gets to taste the money from her own hard work. She felt like she has everything. She bought things for her, forgetting her husband and child. It's okay to love yourself sometimes, buy yourself stuffs as a self reward, but doing it everyday in front of your broke husband is a big mistake! "One day, you'll realize when an important person disappears". She didn't even think of the times when her husband was the one working. He gives everything to them, while she waits and nags around. Having a kind husband is enough which is very obvious and even her family appreciates it. But I guess, greed and ambitious thoughts has taken over her especially now that she's the one earning the money. She just gave him reasons to leave her.

I'm not a man, but as a human being, I know how it feels like to be taken for granted by your own partner. At home, I provide everything while my husband stays to look after the kids. A simple appreciation for their patience towards the kids is a great compliment for our husbands. Never make them feel like they're small people in the house, like they don't have a voice or something. Never treat them like they're housemaids because they're not. (Even housemaids needs equal treatment). Money is just money, don't make it the root of your evil.