I could remember it started maybe two weeks ago. I had a lot of plans including shopping in preparation for Christmas. I was so excited, then it happened. I was walking on my way to the market when I felt that pressure in my head.
I ignored the feeling and continued buying our needs. When I was about to climb up the cab, I felt that disturbing pressure in my head again. Clearly, I panicked! Took off my face shield, I couldn't breath. I tried breathing in and out and I felt heavy. I took off my face mask for relief but my hands started trembling. It's unstoppable and my heart pounded so loud I could hear it as if it's already coming out of my chest.
Finally, I got home safe but still worried of what's happening to me. I begged my husband to bring me to the hospital but he's afraid of the possibility that I could be reported as Covid suspect. I was so afraid I could have had serious complications such as hypertension, or worst heart attack.
The next day, I had my ears and nose checked. It's all fine. The next day, I went to the optometrist because I suspect the pressure coming from around my face going up to my head is because of my sinuses but when the E.N.T said I was clear of sinusitis, then it could be my eyes. There, I found out I had acquired computer vision syndrome and a slight astigmatism, which is probably causing my back pains.
Day 3 since it happened. I feel weak and kept trembling, then that pressure comes again running through my back to my chest then climbs up to my head. It's hard to breath again, but atleast I can somehow control the feeling. I didn't complete the day's work and went home early since my blood pressure raised and I was worried sick again.
On day 4th I went early to the doctor but still wasn't able to get answers about my condition. It hunted me to my sleep. I can't sleep properly afraid that something bad might happen.
The next day all lab tests were done and the doctor excplained. I'm all good. The reason that my blood pressure went up is a normal response to my palpitation. All are normal except my sugar level is high and he said I'm too dehydrated, lack of exercise and sleep. This has made my brain create things that actually didn't exist.
So I kept myself busy the next day. I'm literraly fighting with my brain. According to the doctor, the brain is powerful. It can think of anything and makes things happen in your body. I get dizzy several times so I have to pause on my tasks.
Then when I was able to stand up I started the day like normal. I exercise in the morning, prepare food then sit or lay down to rest. Then it happened again. 😔😔 This is frustrating. When I try to work on the computer, when I try to exercise and even when I'm cooking. I try not to think of anything. Sometimes I watch Tiktok and Youtube for funny videos to divert the mind and the feeling.
Indeed the brain is too powerful that it makes you weak. Now, I feel weak but I always see the bright side which is I know I will be better soon and get back to normal again. I wanted to go back to normal and I want it to happen now. But there is a so called process which is tough.
The only thing I haven't done in overcoming this anxiety is to wash my head. 😅 Haven't done that for one week 😷
I'm not a pessemist but I always wonder why this is happening and no matter how much positivity you feed the mind it still crushes me. I'm fighting it and I won't stop until I get better.
